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Last week on The Soup, we introduced the new show Extreme Cougar Wives under its more accurate, alternate title, "Puke Boners." As a public service to our viewers, we took it upon ourselves to rename other popular shows to provide accurate descriptions of their content.

Would you be more likely or less likely to Tivo these? Either way, we're all terrible people.

TV Guide Cards Soup

The Bachelor would be better identified as "Controlled Hot Tub Experiment"

TV Guide Cards Soup

Dancing with the Stars makes more sense as "You Know Me from Somewhere"

TV Guide Cards Soup

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills should brand itself, "Chardonnay Formaldehyde"

TV Guide Cards Soup

The X Factor's hosting choices might be explained as "Finding Bigfoot"

TV Guide Cards Soup

The Biggest Loser should come clean about its premise: "Yelling at Fat People"

TV Guide Cards Soup

The Celebrity Apprentice would be more accurately recognized as "The Tyrannical Merkin"

TV Guide Cards Soup

Let's call Hoarders what it really is: "Cat Cemetery"

TV Guide Cards Soup

And Gigolos? It's actually "Just Big D*cks"