What can possibly be more American than being fat, white, loud and free, and utilizing those estimable qualities in a fierce tirade over a cheeseburger?

Having your buddy video tape it, of course. And if you can reveal your ass, even better. And he does.

And when you're over your disgust (or arousal), check out an all new Web Soup with host Chris Hardwick, who would never reveal his ass anywhere near a cheeseburger tonight at 8 p.m. ET/PT!