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Kim Kardashian

Norman Scott/startraksphoto.com

There's a new iPhone application that allows fans to ask Kim Kardashian advice on fashion, health and relationships.  The app features a cyber version of Kim, and it keeps you updated on her latest Tweets and photos. 

Or, you can do what the rest of the world does and just read her Tweets and look at her photos.  Or, you could just watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians

These Kardashian girls are killing me.  Just when I think I am getting a leg up on them, they Donald Trump me. 

I can't compete with this, and believe me I have tried.  I thought I was going to date a black guy, but T.I. screwed things up when he had to go to prison.  I can't date a professional athlete because of the random drug testing, and the only "app" I've ever been offered is tuna tartare. 

Kardashians: 3, Chelsea Lately: 0.