Two late-night hosts dogged Johnny Depp and Amber Heard Monday.
The couple's apology video to Australia earlier that day wasn't very convincing—especially considering they are both professional actors. Heard, who was charged last summer with illegally importing her two dogs, pleaded guilty to one count of producing a false document in a Queensland court. As part of her deal, both she and Depp taped a video that was released via the Australian Government Department of Agriculture and Water Resources' YouTube page. Neither star seemed sincere, but Depp in particular had a tough time masking his emotions. "The Johnny Depp apology feels like a hostage video," Ricky Gervais tweeted.
Stephen Colbert played the 42-second video in its entirety on The Late Show Monday. "That was from the heart, man. That is an absolutely from the heart, totally convincing apology until you zoom the picture out," he said just before unveiling a wider shot that showed two kangaroos holding guns to the Rum Diary co-stars. The late-night host joked, "They keep the bullets in the pouch." In mock seriousness, Colbert said he was inspired by the PSA. "This video truly touched me, and it made me realize that I too owe Australia a very, very big apology."
In a pre-taped video apology of his own, Colbert—dressed in his Depp best—sat beside a woman who bore a resemblance to Heard. "Australia is an island surrounded by sharks and kangaroos and blooming onions," she said. Colbert, mimicking Depp's monotone delivery, added, "Australia is truly a lovely lady. And that goes double for all the angry men who make you do these videos."
"I am truly sorry that on a recent visit to your country we failed to declare our dogs, Sparkles, Lurch and Col. Dogface," the woman said, mocking the names of Heard's Yorkshire terriers. "Nor we did we declare my colon of parakeets, whom I rightfully call the Funky Bunch, nor my two 500-pound feral hogs, Niles and Frasier," Colbert said. "It was wrong, even if they are service animals—which they are not."
In conclusion, the woman said, "Australia is a magical upside-down land where the toilets flush backwards." It was then that Colbert decided to make a confession. "I would also like to state this woman is not my wife, and I am truly sorry for smuggling her into your country," he said. "She has not had her shots."
"Also, I bite," the woman said.
Watch the first video to see Colbert's full apology.
Jimmy Kimmel took a different approach to making fun of Depp and Heard's video. "This is uncomfortable to watch," he said on Jimmy Kimmel Live!. "Let's run the rest of it through a Snapchat filter and see if it's better that way."
Australia's Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce, who turned the couple's quarantine violation into an international spectacle last year, teased Depp in multiple interviews Monday. "I think he's auditioning for The Godfather," he joked on Sunrise. "He's very good at playing every person, except Johnny Depp."