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Mickey Rourke needs to win the Oscar because his acceptance speech will be a helluva lot funnier than Sean Penn's. [YouTube]

Ashton Kutcher twittered about how Demi Moore threw him a surprise party. We'll just assume the couple's neighbor wasn't invited. [Twitter]

• Some theatergoers at Will Ferrell's one-man show sending up the 43rd president apparently don't like penis with their Bush. [The New York Times]

• Here's a chance to impress your valentine this weekend with that Mariah Carey-like voice you think you have. [My Mariah Ballad

Russell Croweshows off his softer, gentler side. Awww. [Jezebel]

See who else has a way with kids in our Big Picture gallery!