Caught! Lohan Loses It, Tori Fires Up

Lindsay Lohan pulls a Christian Bale at Villa

By Ted Casablanca Feb 06, 2009 9:42 PMTags
Lindsay LohanHumberto Carreno/startraksphoto.com

Lindsay Lohan, whose pals, no joke, are writing to me asking what the ef to do about their wandering-again chum, checked into Villa last night—but barely checked out.

While GF Sam Ronson, who was looking and acting far more put together, spun away, L2 sat in a booth behind her estranged SO. Lindsay, clad completely in black, would discreetly drink from bottles hidden below her table. Lohan's skin literally looked like it was falling off of her barely there shrunken frame, just grossly skinny.

While SamRo toiled away for her paycheck (does Lindsay even recall what that's like?), L.L. flirted and chatted up good-lookin' guys at her private table. Any girl who entered the vicinity, Lohan very loudly bitched and cussed out—it was totally like Tonya Harding or Amy Winehouse, take your pick, was starring in Mean Girls.

You really off the gals for good, Linds? Appears so. Oh, and there was a surprise male horny type guest who worshipped at Lohan's evil little throne, any guesses who?

Sean Penn, Lohan's companion in all things smarmy, inappropriate and totally fun, also stopped by Villa, where he simply could not keep away from his notorious amiga. Penn's somewhat queer Into the Wild star, Emile Hirsch, came along for the weirdo outing. Wonder how estranged wifey Robin considers this 2-in-the-ayem infamous-style fraternizing? Probably something closer to what…

Tori Spelling was really thinking, as she warmed herself next to ol' 90210 babe Jennie Garth while they filmed a scene for the new 90210 on the patio at Cafe Rodeo, Luxe Hotel Rodeo Drive. Pouring rain, so in their almost nonexistent minis, in between takes (while the script was rewritten to accommodate the downpour L.A.'s enduring right now), some heat warmers were brought for the boob-tube babes to get cozy with while they gossiped evil things, totally Lohan style, probably about the new upstart cast, I'm so sure. Cleaner, by far, was...

Diane Lane, in her trendy, totally ecologically cool Prius, pulling up to Lulu's Cafe, on Beverly Boulevard. D.L. got change for a dollar from the waiter, no gun-shy personal assistants scurrying about for this bitchin' broad! Wearing jeans and a gray sweater and scarf, Lane looked natural and beautiful, Nicole Kidman and Renée Zellweger could take a tip or two from this honey. Even better: Diane sat down, alone, swapped her dark shades for reading glasses, as she had brought a book to read. She ordered English Breakfast tea with honey. Perfect in every way.