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Welcome aboard Snakes on a Plane. Samuel L. Jackson and a horde of CGI snakes would like to wish you a ludicrously entertaining experience that's better than it has any right to be. Please ensure that your disbelief is safely stowed in the overhead compartment, as unsecured continuity problems may otherwise hinder your enjoyment of the ride. For your comfort, Snakes on a Plane is equipped with traditional B-movie clich├ęs, convenient foreshadowing and a surplus of thankfully disposable stock characters.
In the event of an unacceptable loss of story pressure, Samuel L. Jackson and some snakes will eventually appear to make everything all right. Thank you for watching Snakes on a Plane, and we hope you join us for the inevitable sequel.
--Alex Markerson