Troian Bellisario Opens Up About Her Struggles With Mental Illness: "The Voice of My Disease Is With Me Every Day"

In an essay for Lenny Letter, the Pretty Little Liars actress reveals her most personal battles

Troian Bellisario isn't holding back her experiences with mental illness.

The Pretty Little Liars actress took to Lenny Letter, a feminist newsletter run by Lena Dunham and Jennifer Konner, to pen a personal essay about her battles with mental health.

She set the scene with a description of her swimming with a friend in extremely cold water, expressing how the freezing lake brought numbness and discomfort to her body, but she couldn't remove herself from the water. She goes on to explain the juxtaposition between her body displaying its need to be removed from the cold, and her mental illness telling her to not disappoint or look weak in front of her friend.

"Here I am, 31 years old," the actress wrote. "And I'm still denying my body the one thing it is asking me to do: take care of it."

Bellisario's words are heartbreakingly honest in their depiction of mental health. She wrote of a particularly poignant memory of shooting Pretty Little Liars in the middle of a Canadian winter and the self-deprecating thoughts that bounced around her mind as a result of battling the harsh weather. 

"I looked around: Lucy [Hale], Ashley [Benson] and Shay [Mitchell] all seemed cold but fine; they looked professional, powerful," Bellisario wrote. "Was I not cut out for this? I pushed that thought out of my mind. Suck it up, Bellisario, do your job."

She continued, saying writing, producing and acting in the film Feed was in hopes that she could create a story out of her battles and help others facing similar struggles. The work additionally helped her separate herself from her mental illness.

After battling eating disorders, Bellisario credited hard work and support from the people around her for her strides toward recovery.

"It was a difficult journey finding my way back to health," the actress wrote. "Through hard introspection, intense medical and mental care, a supportive family, friends and patient and loving partner, I survived, which is rare."

Her husband, Suits star Patrick J. Adams, expressed that same support via Twitter today, posting a link to Bellisario's essay and calling her "the bravest and most beautiful woman I've ever met."

It was recently announced that Bellisario had joined the cast for Richard Linklater's latest project, Where'd You Go, Bernadette, which is slated for release on May 11, 2018. Feed was released today, and is available via the iTunes store.