Everything has changed.
It had only been two weeks since Ted Pryce (Oliver Milburn) was killed in a mob at the King's Cup and the royal family was still recovering from those shocking developments in tonight's eventful season premiere of The Royals.
Queen Helena (Elizabeth Hurley) desired to right her wrongs and Prince Liam (William Moseley) struggled with his guilt while King Cyrus (Jake Maskall) scrambled to preserve his claim to the throne and Princess Eleanor (Alexandra Park) continued to search for purpose. Meanwhile, Prince Robert (Max Brown) was back from the dead and stranded on a deserted beach in the middle of nowhere after surviving the attack everyone assumed had killed him.
Keep reading for a recap of season three's debut episode!
Queen Helena received quite the surprise when she went to retrieve her late husband Simon's (Vincent Regan) bones from his tomb to prove her children's true paternity: He was gone. Cyrus had stolen the body to prevent her from threatening his crown. "I burned him up and sprinkled him over the English Channel," he told her. "No Simon. No DNA. No paternity." But Helena wasn't bothered because she could still use Cyrus' DNA—if she could get it. He had hastily barricaded himself in his room when he learned about her plans. "Catch me if you can, Queenie!" he challenged.
While Cyrus was busy playing hide-and-seek, Helena continued her duties of running the palace. The first order of business was hiring a new Lord Chamberlain, so she asked Rachel (Victoria Ekanoye) to help her find a qualified candidate. Since Rachel moonlights as a dominatrix, Helena also requested she find someone to service her. "I can't remember the last time I went this long without having sex," Helena revealed. Rachel agreed to assist on both matters and hopefully meet her Queen's needs. "Consider it done," she said.
Later, Queen Helena sat down for a meal with her children and discovered that Eleanor had been severely slacking on her princess obligations. She decided to rectify the situation and set up meetings for her with merchandisers and manufacturers to endorse a product of her choice. But Eleanor didn't understand why it was so important now when countless items already had the royal warrant. "Two weeks ago, we engineered a public execution," Helena explained. "We need to adjust the message about the family and, god help us, you two are the best we've got."
Meanwhile, Jasper (Tom Austen) desperately wanted to win Eleanor back, but she was still making him work for her forgiveness all while torturing him over the surveillance cameras. Luckily, James Hill (Rocky Marshall) helped him find a moment to pitch the new and improved Jasper to her as she was taking product meetings. Jasper 2.0 apologized for his past mistakes and promised he was now more reliable and less stubborn. "This version is sorry for the last one and would never take your endorsement for granted," he said. Eleanor decided to accept his apology and told him to ask her out possibly for that night.
Because Helena was out for his hair, Cyrus decided to put himself in a bubble so he could still roam about freely and without fear. But the DNA situation was hardly his biggest concern. He also had to deal with Jeffrey Stuart (Matthew Wolf) who was still out for revenge against the royal family for his sister's murder. He threatened to release the video documenting all of their transgressions, so Cyrus invited him over to the palace, served him a drink and offered him a large sum of money to keep his part out. But before Jeffrey could formally reject the deal, he started to react to the poison Cyrus had secretly slipped in his drink. Once he died, Cyrus took his body and threw it into the Channel alongside Simon.
Back at the palace, Rachel had taken her job very seriously and delivered Her Majesty both a Lord Chamberlain candidate and a booty call named Huge Grant. However, the Queen got mixed up about who was who and ended up having sex with her new employee. Whoops! But she quickly regrouped and set a professional tone. "Consider this exhibit A in why we need an effective Lord Chamberlain around here," she told him. "We shall not speak of it for the rest of time."
Even though Liam had been putting on a brave face since the King's Cup, he was still wrestling with the demons of orchestrating Ted's brutal attack. Unbeknownst to his family, he was working them out at night in an underground fight club. But after thoroughly getting his ass kicked in a match-up, he visited an unidentified blonde who was working in a bar. She later took him back to her apartment and helped clean up his face. "I thought about you a lot," he then told her. "I should have done more for you."
After his speech earlier in the day, Jasper arrived at Eleanor's room for their official date. But it became incredibly awkward when she got cold feet and decided she wanted to stay in and paint her room instead of going out. "Don't give up on me," she asked him. He responded, "I won't…ever."
When he returned with the paint, he also had a surprise up his sleeve. He had set up a meeting for her with the makeup company that makes her favorite eyeliner because she still hadn't chosen a product to endorse. "People like you, Princess," he told her. "And so do I."