If you've got a thing about sounds, like we do, then tonight's American Horror Story was particularly horrific.
We're specifically talking about all scenes involving Lee (Adina Porter) and one of the Polks (played by Finn Wittrock), which mostly consisted of casual conversation sprinkled with audible cannibalism. After everything we've seen so far this season (hello, disembowelments!), this was right up there with the squirmiest. Cannibalism just grosses us out, OK?
Unappetizing meals aside, tonight was also filled with torture, throat slitting, head smashing, and enough demented laughter to supply our nightmares for the rest of our lives.
And we were really feeling bad for the "innocent" Lee, but then she made a confession.
Her cannibal friend allowed her to record a video for daughter Flora, and in it, she confessed that she had murdered her ex-husband Mason in order to keep him from taking the girl (meaning she lied to Kristin Dos Santos). We wouldn't typically suggest "being eaten" as a punishment for anyone for doing anything, but maybe she deserves it just a little? IDK? This is so complicated.
We were actually about to throw up when, after her confession, Lee was about to willingly allow her cannibal friend to have sex with her, but then she used the opportunity break free and gravely injure him. So that was good? But she still horribly murdered her ex-husband, so we weren't ready to cheer for her yet—a decision that we felt pretty comfortable with a little later.
Of course, while Lee survived, the bloodbath continued.
After realizing she had murdered the only man she had ever loved, Shelby (Lily Rabe) gave up and slit her own throat, much to Dominic's (Cuba Gooding Jr.) horror. Dominic was just sure the show was still happening, and kept yelling for Sidney to come and help, not knowing Sidney was long dead.
At the Polk farm, Lee killed Finn Wittrock, and Audrey took down Mama Polk by smashing her head in while she cackled. Monet escaped, but didn't get very far before the Polks were chasing her down in the dark. It's unclear if they got her or if she got away.
When Audrey and Lee—the only survivors from the Polk farm—returned to the house, they found Dominic, alone, sitting in a room with Shelby's dead body, in shock. He tried to explain what happened, but Lee was just sure Shelby would never murder Matt, no matter who he was having sex with.
So, they locked Dominic out of the room...with the piggy man.
In the morning, Lee realized that she had lived, and now there was a tape of her confessing to killing Mason. So, she convinced Audrey that they needed to go back to Polk farm in order to destroy the tapes of them killing the people who deserved to be killed, with no mention of her own tape...
Fortunately, they were sidelined on the way, first by Dominic's dead body (RIP), and then by the piggy man knocking on the door...except it wasn't piggy man. It was someone named Dylan, and Dylan looked an awful lot like Wes Bentley in a piggy man costume.
And now, a few questions and observations:
Does Dylan count in the pool of possible survivors? (This does explain why he's been in the credits all this time...)
Where the heck is Taissa Farmiga?
Could Ryan Murphy be planning a season around the 1893 Chicago World's Fair? According to Lee's cannibal friend (we never learned his name, sorry), Piggy Man was born out of that infamous event. He was a Polk relative who had gotten the idea from the Butcher to put on a pig head and slaughter people, like they did in the Chicago stock yards. That World's Fair is also the setting of serial killer H.H. Holmes and his murder castle (vaguely referenced last season), so there's plenty of material there. And yes, we want it real bad.
Isn't it kind of interesting that such a big chunk of the deaths this season have come from living humans killing other living humans? What a twist!
American Horror Story: Roanoke airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on FX.