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Starbucks, Baby Vomit

Reddit: Miyomei

Do your plans for the future involve the consumption of an infant's upchuck? Are you perhaps with child yourself, and enjoy the aroma of spewed mashed peas? Perhaps a candle made from the scent of dry-heaved Gerber Graduates riles you up more than any pumpkin spice 3-wick? If any of these questions connect with you on a spiritual level, boy do we have some news for you. Get your barf-loving buns down to the nearest Starbucks because they just made a drink that looks (and supposedly smells) like the stuff your sister's kid just puked all over your new velvet choker. The secret menu concoction is called "Baby Vomit" and it is just...so much. If we've gathered anything from the name of this drink, one can conclude that our world is approaching the end of days. If ordering a secret menu Butterbeer pisses off your barista, don't ask for this. 

Baby Vomit consists of a killer 17 ingredients (what the actual hell) added to an iced green tea latte base. Alright. Let's run through the list just in case you get a craving for a Grande green gag. You're going to get a contact stomach ache just by reading this, so pop that Imodium while you can. If you've got time for 1 pump sugar-free vanilla, 1 pump of sugar-free cinnamon dolce, 1 pump of pumpkin sauce, 2 pumps of sugar-free hazelnut, 1 pump of sugar-free mocha, 1 pump of sugar free caramel syrup, some coconut milk, 6 scoops of matcha powder, mocha drizzle, light vanilla powder, light caramel drizzle, light cinnamon powder, light nutmeg powder, salt topping, whipped cream, light ice, pumpkin topping and a side of stroke, this is your next order. 

First of all, can someone explain to us the significance of ordering anything "light" or "sugar-free in this case?" Doesn't the simple fact of topping one of these things on top of the other totally negate any possibility of avoiding a heart attack? It's like ordering 76 Chalupa's and a Diet Coke, and expecting to stay within your Weight Watchers points. It's just not a thing, you guys. Anyhoo, thanks to Reddit, and a post by user Miyomei, you get to put Baby Vomit in your mouth now. Who knows, maybe it tastes delicious! Or maybe it tastes like the inside of Frankenstein's head. Enjoy!