After sharing key details—Kardashian was bound, gagged and robbed at gunpoint inside her apartment early Monday morning, and now $10 million in jewels are missing—Kimmel tried to bring some levity to the situation. "You have to wonder: How is it possible?" he asked on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live! Monday. "I mean, somehow these guys found the one moment this decade that this woman wasn't surrounded by 40 people with cameras, and they took advantage of it."
In mock seriousness, Kimmel issued a warning message to the "bastards" who assaulted her. "We will tolerate a lot of nonsense, but you do not mess with Kim Kardashian West. Whether you like her or not, she's one of us," he said. "If we find out you harmed even a single extension on her People's Choice Award-winning head, we will find you and we will make you so les misérables, you will wish you were never born to a woman who doesn't shave her armpits."
"We will tape you up and we'll lock you in a room, and you know what we will do? We'll force you to watch the parts of Keeping Up With the Kardashians where Kim's mother eats a big salad and complains about the maid in front of the maid over and over again. We will knock those raspberry berets off your head and those curly little mustaches off your snail-eating faces. We want that jewelry back, and the criminals who took it prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law," Kimmel said. "And you'd better Gérard Depardieu it quick or we will have no choice but to send Khloe over there, and when that happens, all you can do is pray. You've been warned."
Before he moved on to other topics and conduct celebrity interviews, he added, "Right now, Ryan Lochte is on the set of Dancing With the Stars, praying Kim made this whole thing up."
Meanwhile, on TBS' Conan, O'Brien kept his joke brief. "No one was hurt, but in a mansion in Paris, Kim Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint. Kim was bound and gagged—then the robbers broke in." Realizing the ramifications of his joke, he said, "And with that, his career was over."
During an appearance on CBS' The Late Late Show, Curtis praised Corden for taking the high road. "This very day, something really scary happened to a public person, and you were the first person to stand up and tell [Twitter users] that they should shut the f--k up and leave this poor woman alone and let her recover. And you—you said it! And I am impressed by you, very much," the Scream Queens star said, reminding the audience that Kardashian is "a mother of two small children! My God, these people just need to have their devices put somewhere."
Corden couldn't agree more.
"Regardless of whatever you think of someone, it's someone being held at gunpoint in a room," he said. "Just don't say anything. Also, you don't need to say anything. Just don't do anything!"
Meanwhile, the men who robbed Kardashian are still at large. A police investigation is ongoing.