Andrew H. Walker/REX/Shutterstock; Getty ImagesHow come we didn't wake up to a petition demanding Orlando Bloom publicly apologize for his actions at the 2016 Met Gala? Or more specifically, his inactions?!
Ol' Bloomy Boy walked the red carpet at the Met Gala with his girlfriend, Katy Perry, and they wore matching accessories to play up the night's technology theme. And those accessories were Tamagotchi's, that little electronic egg thing from the ‘90s that swallowed up all our free time. If you missed that era, this post will make little sense to you but at the very least you can hang around just for funsies.
Tamagotchi's were basically digital pets you had to take care of by (electronically) feeding it, playing with it and cleaning up after it. If you raised your pet Tamagotchi correctly, it grew up into an adorable creature. If you didn't, it either died, or worse...it grew up to be this ugly beast with a sperm tail. The ‘90s were weird, you guys.
Anyway, when we looked a little closer at Orlando's Tamagotchi, we noticed something horrible. Can you spot it? In the corner of the screen, right where that innocent lil' digital baby is just hanging out:
It was just siting in its own feces! FECES. Orlando didn't even clean up after his pet! Looks like you have a sperm baby coming your way, bro!
How can Katy ever trust someone who would let something so horrible happen to a poor, innocent electronic creature blob?! We're certain that once Katy sees Orlando's complete lack of awareness for his Tamagotchi baby, tomorrow's headlines will read something like:
"Katy Perry Brutally Dumps Orlando Bloom for Completely Warranted Reason and No One Blames Her One Bit"
If you can't take care of your Tamagotchi, then don't bring it to the Met Gala, Orlando Bloom! Or should we call you Orlando DOOM?