Mark Davis/Getty Images for CoachellaCoachella is kind of like The Hunger Games, if the kids in the District were battling over VIP concert tickets and who wore the shortest shorts.
This weekend marked weekend one of the 2016 edition of the festival, and now that all the dust has settled (literally—there was so much dust), it's time to pick up all the abandoned flower crowns and assess. This year's event was one for the record books, with all sorts of celebrity cameos and possible couples and, as we mentioned, flower crowns. But it's not so much the musical acts we're interested in (because really, who goes to Coachella for the music?).
Rather, we're here to rank and rate the celebs' overall festival performance and dole out special awards for those who truly went above and beyond what's expected at Coachella. Because not everyone can get on Vanessa Hudgens' level, amirite?
Best Festie Besties: John Stamos & Josh Peck
The friends who share flamingo floaties together stay together. These two turned up to a pool party, presumably surrounded by lots of other partygoers, but only had eyes for each other. Can you blame them?
Best Flower Crown: Alessandra Ambrosio
As much as we may wish never to see a flower crown again, they're inevitable at Coachella. As such, we have to give props to Alessandra for at least changing up the vibe a little bit and going for a Greek-goddess-with-grapes vibe instead of the typical daisy situation.
Best Cheerleader: Taylor Swift
It takes a lot for someone like Taylor Swift to blend in unnoticed, but she did just that last night during BF Calvin Harris' big headlining set. And not only did she blend in, but she fangirled it right up. She danced, she sang, she freaked the f--k out when Rihanna came out for her surprise performance. Stars: They're just like us!
Best Disguise: Leonardo DiCaprio
Rest assured, no matter the year, Leo DiCaprio will be at Coachella. And no matter the year, Leo DiCaprio will be in disguise. This time around he chose a Michigan baseball cap and a weather-appropriate neck bandana, but it was his lucky vape pen that gave him away. You'll never trick us, Leo!
Best Cameo: (Most of) N.W.A.
With Ice Cube as one of Saturday night's main attractions, it was pretty much guaranteed that at least one of his former groupmates would turn up. But instead, audiences were treated a mini-reunion with both DJ Yella and MC Ren as they performed "Straight Outta Compton" and "F--k Tha Police." Sorry, Rihanna, but this is just too good.
Best Battle Cry: Kesha
Gurl, you done made us shed some tears! After not recording music for over two years and barely taking the stage at all—oh, and going through a straight-up torturous legal proceeding against Dr. Luke—Kesha joined Zedd to perform "True Colors" and it was nothing short of a miracle. We don't want to read too much into the appearance, but we sincerely hope this is the beginning of a new era for her. It was certainly a good f-you to all those who've tried to keep her down.
Best My Little Pony Impersonation: Kylie Jenner
Lest the children's toy get all the attention for its colorful locks, the youngest Kardashian sister tried her hand at rainbow hues. Dare we say she's pulling it off? At the very least, it looks way more expensive than your average plastic pony.
Best Couple: Bella Hadid & The Weeknd
Coordinating outfits: Check. Casual brand name drops: Check. In-sync footsteps: Check. Adoring gazes: Check, mate.
Best Couple, the Ad Version: Aaron Paul & McDonald's
Hey, going to Coachella gets expensive! You have to buy the VIP tickets, you have to rent a house, and you have to buy an entire new wardrobe of festival-appropriate fringe. Aaron Paul, for one, has figured out how to buck that system: Get paid by McDonald's. All you have to do is post a few sponsored Instagrams and make sure you're photographed eating a crap ton of Fries and boom! A lifelong partnership is born.
Best '90s Vibe: Jared Leto
Jordan Catalano, is that you? It must be.