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Victoria Beckham, David Beckham, Cruz, Romeo, Brooklyn, Harper, Christmas

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The stockings have been emptied, the presents have been opened, and now all you have left of Christmas is a sugar hangover and the staggering credit card bill. Happy holidays?

But just because the season has come to a close, it doesn't mean that all the fun is over. Sure, we're going to have to wait at least 360 days before we can eat an entire batch of cookie dough while drinking eggnog-flavored beer without guilt, but we can still get some joy out of lusting over the Christmases of those way more fortunate than we are. That's right: We're talking about celebrities!

A-listers do a lot of things better than we do, and the holiday season is no exception. Our Instagram feed pretty much read like a straight-up contest of Christmas cheer, with only the richest and prettiest actresses allowed. So why not turn that imaginary competition into a real, live brawl? Nothing says feliz navidad like pitting one perfect family's celebration against another's. But remember, this is all in good fun, so there are no losers here—only those of us who spent way too much time stalking other people's holidays.

Best Beverages: Kate Hudson

Always love visiting our neighbors with my Pa #Shotski #BottomsUp #SelfieDidntComeOut #HomeForTheHolidays ??

A photo posted by Kate Hudson (@katehudson) on

Some say a shotski is elegance redefined. We say it's also extreme use of efficiency. No one has time to wait for a wine buzz to kick in over Christmas—you need to get it done, ASAP. Hudson and her Pa (a.k.a. Kurt Russell) showed us all that a little bit of productivity is best used for drinking games. 

Best Seasonal Pun: Taylor Swift

You used to call me on my elf phone.

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

While we applaud her costume (the girl goes in on the holiday wardrobe), what we're really praising today is her ability to not only make a super timely pop culture joke, but turn it into a darn pun. We're actually super mad that we didn't think to use "elf phone" in any of our Instagram captions. Next year?

Most Groan-Inducing: David and Victoria Beckham

Moooommmmm, you're embarrassing me! Kissing is so gross, right? We don't need no PDA, especially at Christmas, when we're already reminded of our love life's inadequacies on the regular. (Okay, so maybe there's a bit of jealousy here, but whatever).

Most Admirable Present-Giver: Kanye West

Perhaps you've heard already, but Mr. West gave his wife Kim Kardashian 150 Christmas presents. And that is no typo: one hundred and fifty. And they weren't just dinky little gifts like a keychain or a pair of socks—we're talking a fur coat, Louis Vuitton clothes and more. Say what you will about the level of materialism and/or consumerism at play here, but damn if we wouldn't have enjoyed that Christmas morning.

Best Holiday Hair: Nicole Richie

Hope you all had as much fun as my hair did! #MerryChristmas #themorningafter ????????

A photo posted by @nicolerichie on

Nicole, this 'do is a masterpiece. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Best Wrap Job: Julianne Hough

We don't even have dogs, but if we did, we would never give a present that wasn't covered in our pet's faces. Sometimes, it's what's on the outside that counts.

Best Joke Christmas Card: Kevin Hart

Because this is a joke, right?

Best Practical Handyman Outfit: Sarah Hyland

Screw cookies... I make tables with my Dad on Christmas Eve. ????????????

A photo posted by Sarah Hyland (@therealsarahhyland) on

The two worst words in the Christmas language: Assembly required. Nothing kills the high of an awesome gift like having to get (shudder!) tools and (shudder!) build things. Luckily Sarah Hyland has this super practical handyman outfit to help her through the housework. 

Best Baby Tease: Justin Timberlake

This is some cute sentiment and all, but the people really just want to get a good look at Silas. Get your mug outta there, JT!

Best Subtle Implication That Your Own Family Is Completely Inferior: Matt Bomer

We may as well just disown everyone we're related to, because we'll never live up to these expectations set by the Bomer Family.