"I don't get all of this."
Truer words have never been spoken than when Kim Fields uttered the above on tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta while on the season's first girl trip, this one to Miami. As each week goes by, it's more and more clear that the antics of her co-stars and the requirements of being a reality TV star are a foreign language to our beloved Kim. All that plus traveling out of state without her husband and kids for the first time in, oh, ever?
Well, it was a damn recipe for disaster.
Her burgeoning BFF Phaedra Parks said it best: "My goodness, Kim Fields is coming with us to Miami. I hope she has her King James Bible and her roller-skates because, Tootie, you better be ready to rumble with these girls."
The second the ladies arrived at their palatial digs, it was clear Kim and her co-stars were not on the same page. As each of the women laid claim to their rooms (pregnant Kandi Burruss scored the massive master), Kim made herself at home on a couch in a living room even though there's a room for her, leaving everyone there about as stumped as we were. We love you, Kim, but why not just take a private bed?
From there, Kim was the audience surrogate yet again, calling everyone out on their craziness with refreshing candor. A breakdown:
- When night one's dinner went awry after Kenya filled Sheree in on the unkind things Cynthia's friend Tammy had to say about her: "How old are we that we're talking about ‘I didn't say she didn't like you.' Are we grown ass women talking like this?" and "Food for thought: Does it feel like there's a different between information and instigation?" (Seriously, stitch that gem on a damn pillow and mail it to every Housewife ever as a Christmas present.)
- When expressing her confusion over Kenya's motivations the next morning: "I think there's a way to let somebody know ‘Hey, you might want to talk to so-and-so' without being messy about it." and "It's hard to tell if it's a genuine ‘I just wanted you to know' or if it's just for sport, you know what I mean?"
- When her bestie Phaedra came down the stairs for Boat Trip, Part 2: Miami Boogaloo: "Put it away! Put it away!"
- When Phaedra threatened to model her wares again for a late-coming Kandi: "Wait a minute, don't show it! She might have that baby right now!"
- During her epic breakdown after watching everyone have a great time at a bar: "I don't get it, I want to go home. I miss my husband. I don't understand just dancing with girls to just dance. I don't get all of this." and "I don't get it. And I'm just standing there. This isn't me. I can't find myself here."
- Explaining why she'd rather have fun with her husband than the women: "There's so much work that you do when you're in a marriage. And so being able to enjoy the fruits of your labor, that's my sweet spot right now." and "If you're blessed to have this type of relationship, you praise god for that all day, every day."
Let's juxtapose that what her co-stars had to say about her this week.
- "I've only been nice to Kim. I brought her into this group. Taking issue with me, that's never a good idea." - Kenya
- "Kim is feenin' like Jodeci for her family. This little homesick routine is wearing me out." - Porsha, who apparently could never see her family ever again and be just fine.
- "Probably calling her husband and those kids again." - Kenya, dripping with disdain over a woman's CHILDREN, when asked where Kim was.
- "Back off, Kim" - Kenya, acting tough in a confessional, in response to Kim calling out her messiness at dinner.
It's clear that something bigger is building between Kim and Kenya because Kim handles things like an adult and Kenya just can't handle that. But that isn't the only hurricane heading their way down in Miami. The episode ended with the ladies bringing back a few complete strangers onto their boat, along with Tammy's randomly-in-the-same-place nephew and his friend, and the preview for next week promises another violent brawl in what's becoming an alarming trend for this season.
With all this going on, we'll be surprised if Kim makes it to a second season.
What did you think about part one of the RHOA trip to Miami? Are you Team Kim or Team Kenya? Sound off in the comments below.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)