The sweeter the Bachelor, the bigger the crazy.
At least that's the formula we deduced based on what we've seen of the season 20 premiere of The Bachelor, aka ABC's Big Barrel of Nuts that airs every January.
While we would never want to spoil any of the fun (and it really is a lot of fun), we do have a lot of things we need to talk about after screening the majority of the premiere episode. Namely, those things that involve how Ben Higgins might be the sweetest human to ever have graced this show.
As taken as we were with Ben during Kaitlyn's season of The Bachelorette, his charms expand tenfold when he's the star. If we could GIF his reactions to every single woman who stepped out of the limo, we would, because every adorable facial expression he makes is completely GIF-able, from awe to bewilderment to a mild amount of fear.
But as sweet as Ben is, the majority of the women are equally nuts. Or at least that's the way they're acting so far. All in all, it's the perfect combo of entertainment to help you wile away the cold winter months.
Here are just a few of the things to get excited about while you wait for January:
The chicken enthusiast does not disappoint. We actually kind of love her. She's sweet, and Ben actually really seemed to like her based off of the two chicken-free minutes they spent together. Her chicken obsession is a little weird but some people might say the same about how excited we got about being able to watch this Bachelor premiere.
The twins are perfectly creepy. We think they might be robots and that would be an amazing twist.
Sob stories are kept to a minimum. One girl breaks out a story about her dead father in her intro package, but she does not use it to any sort of morbid advantage when she actually meets Ben. We appreciate that kind of discretion.
Villains gotta vill, as usual. It takes a special kind of person to make us hate them within two minutes, but at least one girl succeeded big time.
Chris Soules gives Ben advice to "Kiss 'em all."
Ben thanks everyone for coming like a little boy welcoming guests to his birthday party, and it could not be cuter.
Ben's response to a girl speaking a foreign language: "Yes. I agree. I love it."
The music and editing are as on point as always.
While Bachelor alums Becca and Amber don't make much of an impression on their own, the reaction to their presence is pretty hilarious. Some of the girls definitely believe that Becca's virginity gives her a leg up in the competition. It's disgusting, but entertaining.
Similarly, everyone seems to believe that the twins being twins is some sort of strange advantage. We would personally see it as a serious disadvantage for those twins but we guess that the first Bachelor cocktail party is not the place for rational thinking.
Dentistry has never been less sexy. And that is saying something, because it's dentistry.
Tiny horses, decapitated unicorns, evil bread and human flowers all make appearances to varying degrees of success.
Whenever Ben says, "my wife," he sounds like Borat. Is that a good thing? We're not sure, but it made us giggle every time.
For as many wackos as there are on the show, there is probably an equal number of nice, funny, normal people. And some of them totally seem like people who we might actually like to see fall in love, so that's a good sign.
So far, this season looks like it's going to be a fun one, or at least a potentially successful one, and that's really all we can ask for.
The Bachelor premieres Jan. 4 at 8 p.m. on ABC.