Mark Seliger exclusively for GQ
Amy Schumer is featured in GQ's Men of the Year issue, and while you may be questioning their decision to put a woman in there, you won't once you read her hilarious interview.
She was asked to reveal some of her fantasies with the men named in this year's issue, and—she being Amy Schumer—did not hold back one bit…even when it came down to the dirtiest of deeds.
Though she kept it relatively PG for people like Will Smith—who'd make her fight off zombies—and Barack Obama—with whom she'd split some scotch and a cigar—she couldn't help herself when it came to her celeb crush, Bradley Cooper.
"Anal," she simply responded. LOL! Of course, this only make sense considering the two are maybe-sort-of-kinda-officially dating, according to her speech at the Time 100 Gala in October.
As for her fantasy with Tom Brady? He picks her up in a nice car with terrible music and confesses he's really been looking for someone like her his whole life rather than his perfect specimen of a wife, Gisele Bundchen.
Amy describes the fictional experience, "He pulls over and takes my hand and looks in my eyes and says: 'I didn't invite [Gisele] because I wanted to be alone with you. Yes, she is beautiful and the mother of my children, but you are smart and funny and I've been waiting to have sex with someone with a real body, a real ass, who has lots of bad angles depending on the lighting, and I want to be with you and not that supermodel who does yoga on the beach a lot.'"
She continues, "I sit silently for a few seconds. Then I get out of the car and apologize for what I have just done to the seat and I run down the highway screaming, 'I knew it!'"
And we're crying from laughing too hard.
For more of her hilarious fantasies, head over to GQ.