Zac Efron, We Are Your Friends

Warner Bros.

There are times in life when you find yourself at a crossroads. Big philosophical questions arise, and it can be difficult to discern right from wrong, up from down. Or in this case, whether you are on drugs or just watching the Zac Efron-fronted EDM melodrama We Are Your Friends.

What's important is not whether you always know the right answer, but how you handle yourself during the hard times. But for this problem, we're here to help.

Before you even start watching We Are Your Friends you will probably wonder what an EDM melodrama is. And it is exactly how it sounds. Efron plays Cole Carter, an aspiring DJ who maintains a semi-squalor existence in the San Fernando Valley with his friends and fellow aspirings (aspiring actor, aspiring millionaire...you get the picture). He spends his nights in the side room of a typical Hollywood club trying to avoid having to play "Drunk In Love" and his days picking up odd jobs and going for runs back and forth along the exact same stretch of his suburban street.

One night he has his lucky break—he offers a joint to a guy in the alley behind the nightclub, and that guy turns out to be a super successful DJ who takes Cole under his wing and helps him find his sound. And they go to a fancy art opening and do PCP! Party time! But in all seriousness, this movie is truly an emotional rollercoaster. It taps right into the zeitgeist of every one of we slightly angst-y twenty-somethings who are just so impatient to make something of ourselves and yet have no idea how to do so. We feel like we have all the potential in the world to be amazing, so the reality of day-to-day living as a non-amazing being is complete disappointment. 

But it also taps into drugs. And raves. And sex. And everything that the aforementioned twenty-somethings indulge in to help forget about the aforementioned non-amazing-ness. The movie's entire soundtrack is electronic dance music, and it feels like at least 65% of it takes place in the middle of party—from a shifty Valley backyard to a giant festival in Las Vegas. Watching it can make one confused as to whether you are, in fact, at a giant rave or just watching one on a big screen. Are you having a huge trip, or just watching Zac Efron have a huge trip?

Which is why we made this handy questionnaire. The next time you are unsure about whether you've slipped yourself a happy pill or are just living vicariously through actors, just ask yourself the following...we've got you covered.

We Are Your Friends

Warner Bros.

Are paintings coming alive and morphing into people at the party around you? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Are trees and clouds speaking to you? You're on drugs.

Is everyone at the party with you suddenly a cartoon? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Is everyone at the party suddenly made of Play-Doh? You're on drugs.

Is your heart beating at the same speed as a long distance runner? You're watching We Are Your Friends. And maybe also on drugs.

Did everyone just start dancing in slow motion? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Did everyone just start dancing in reverse? You're on drugs.

Is Zac Efron dripping in sweat? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Are you dripping in sweat? You're on drugs.

Are your friends' pockets full of uppers, downers AND Special K? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Are your friends' pockets full of miniature animals? You're on drugs.

Is Zac Efron naked in a hotel bed for no discernible reason? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Is Zac Efron naked in your bed for no discernible reason? You're on THE BEST DRUGS OF YOUR F--KING LIFE.

Are a bunch of topless girls playing chicken in a swimming pool? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Are a bunch of topless chickens playing chicken in a swimming pool? You're on drugs.

Is Zac Efron making sweet, sweet finger love to a bunch of DJ equipment? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Is Zac Efron turning into a bunch of DJ equipment? You're on drugs.

Is Zac Efron crying while he's making finger love to a bunch of DJ equipment? You're watching We Are Your Friends.

Are you crying while watching Zac Efron make finger love to a bunch of DJ equipment? You're still watching We Are Your Friends. He really knows how to make a person feel, you know?

We Are Your Friends hits theaters on Friday, August 28.

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share