Bless you, Bethenny Frankel, for returning to RHONY this season.
The second part of the Real Housewives of New York reunion just aired on Bravo, and it truly showcased Bethenny at her finest as she diffused situations left and right and told it exactly like it is to every one of the other women on the show.
First, when things were getting tense between LuAnn and Carole—who is still not invited to LuAnn's house, by the way—Bethenny calmed everyone down by sharing a sweet anecdote of when the season first started filming, and she thought everyone was going to be too "cool" with each other to make the season interesting, until LuAnn informed her that everyone else was cool, but they would be working to take Bethenny down.
Somehow, that story was the end of it, and Andy moved on.
During a discussion about the #F—kyou dinner and whether Dorinda was drunk or not, and Bethenny somehow managed to halt all the overlapping yelling to lay down the facts about how sensitive Dorinda gets, which causes her to lash out.
Dorinda and Heather then couldn't decide who said what about whose mother during that same fateful dinner, with Heather thinking that Dorinda had been insulting her mother, while Dorinda remembered only talking about her own mother, and if we had looked away for a second, we might have thought they were making weird "your mother" jokes. According to Bethenny, they're both wrong.
"What, we're just making s—t up? Well then Tom Cruise walked in and I banged him!"
"I'm not attracted to someone who wanted to be on camera, and in fact, it's interesting, the people that I'm meeting and have been dating a good amount, everyone that I meet, that I like, no one has a facebook profile, no one has twitter, you can't even find anything about them on Google. It's not like I've looked or that, it's just who I'm attracting has no interest in that and that's exactly how I like it.
After some jokes from Bethenny about Carole's sex dream ("I mean, she went down on me, but other than that…") and a new name for LuAnn's inevitable book ("Cool Countess") alongside some praise for her new "f—k all" attitude, it was time to tackle the New Ramona
Ramona admitted that part of the New Ramona involved a boob job, and even apologized to Andy for how she shut down his questions when he asked about her cheating ex-husband last season.
"It's the worst feeling in the world to have someone betray you that way. I know the issue wasn't about the affair, it's bigger than that," she admitted. "It's about him now feeling good about himself. It's difficult for a man to live in the shadow of a woman."
She acknowledged that Mario blamed the show for their divorce, and described the scenario in which she caught Mario in her house with his mistress.
"It was out of a horror picture," she said. "I was in shock."
The women, particularly LuAnn, came to agree that they never liked Mario, and that men go through a sort of menopause called "Andropause," according to LuAnn, but there's something about the new Ramona that just doesn't quite work, and Bethenny was there to say what's what.
"You have to really own it instead of trying to put a little bow on it," she told Ramona. "You like the heat off of you."
She described Ramona's habit of false apologies and just brushing things off, and explained to her how long lasting friendships are supposed to work, turning the evening into a legitimate therapy session.
"It's ironic that you're always saying, ‘in all sincerity,' but it doesn't feel sincere at all."
Andy quickly moved onto the topic of Bethenny's dresses and whether or not Ramona stole them, which turned into a huge thing. Did Bethenny's assistant tell Ramona she could take the dress? Why wasn't the dress in a garment bag instead of just being thrown into Ramona's purse? Did one dress fall out of the trunk? Was Ramona really going to bring the dresses back to Bethenny at the reunion? Does it matter that Bethenny's show was canceled? Is Ranona Ryder a hilarious name for Ramona or one that is totally in poor taste?
We're still not entirely clear on what happened, but we wouldn't be surprised if it went exactly as Bethenny says it did, with Ramona just walking off with two of Bethenny's expensive dresses and pretending she did no such thing.
Even so, Bethenny half raised her hands when asked to vote on whether Ramona had changed, while the majority of the other women agreed that she had. Ramona continued to admit that she has a problem, and Bethenny admitted that she really loved "authentic Ramona."
And then the s—t hit the fan again, with Bethenny and Ramona having it out over Ramona calling her a cheater. Just for the record, Bethenny never cheated on anyone! Not her first husband, or her second husband, or any husbands at all!
On one hand, Bethenny seems to have the levelest head of all the women on the show and her advice is pretty solid, but on the other…that was a whole lot of Bethenny. We may be happy to have her back, but it would be nice to get to hear the rest of the housewives also get to make speeches occasionally too.
The third and final part of the reunion will air next Tuesday at 8 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)