Watch out, Foxy lady. The Twitterverse is comin' to get ya.
Apparently the headlines that Megan Fox and husband Brian Austin Green have separated after 11 years together, including five years of marriage, read more like "Megan Fox is back on the market and you're going to walk outside, see her and she's going to date you" because Twitter positively lit up with virtual cheers.
Isn't it beautiful how many people saw the silver lining of what could have been just the latest gloomy moment for celebrity couples this summer?
Or disturbing, whichever. (Truly, though, the teenage-caliber level of optimism is staggering.)
First of all, the mother of two young sons probably doesn't even plan on going outside—let alone date, mingle or Tinder—for the time being while she allows the hubbub to die down.
But regardless of how Fox is actually feeling, dozens are ready to swoop in and help the brunette beauty dry her tears. Because the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles star, Maxim cover girl and onetime Sexiest Woman in the World (per FHM's wide-eyed readers circa 2008) is now obtainable.
And no, to those of you who claim ignorance as to who her husband is, he isn't some regular guy. He's David Silver.
But who are we to rain on anyone's parade? In fact, we'll help get the word out that there are a number of gentleman, and a few ladies, who would love to be there for the 29-year-old actress in this difficult time.
So here is a sampling of the wishful thinkers who are in line to become the next Mr. or Mrs. Fox. And the line starts behind this guy:
Looks like Megan Fox is single again ..... Start and orderly cue lads (behind me) 😍— Ben Sheppard (@BenOnCapital) August 19, 2015
Megan Fox is single.. anyone has the number, I need to talk to her.— Colin the Creator ✖️ (@ElBreito) August 19, 2015
@meganfox I just want to let everyone know.. I already called dibs— Deep V (@OfficialDeepV) August 19, 2015
@meganfox is it true? Are you single again? As I don't work till Monday, so we can meet for a drink or two. You'll pay for them, of course.— Gerardo Gómez (@gerardelx) August 19, 2015
So...Megan Fox is on the market again?! Wow! https://t.co/8J1L9t0CpB— Bert Davis (@IllinoisBert) August 19, 2015
MEGAN FOX is SINGLE!!!— TeCe ♡ (@hejunicornz) August 19, 2015
Que hermoso dia Megan Fox SOLTERA!!!!!!!— Agushe (@Agushe7) August 19, 2015
Megan Fox and the dude from 90210 have split! I'm going to the gym cause I may have a chance! #MeganFox #1— K-Tizzler (@K_Tizzler) August 19, 2015
Megan Fox is single and has a kid, I'm single and ready to be a stepmom.— Sam (@LifeAsSameen) August 19, 2015
@MinnieGupta planetary alignment just gave every American man a shred of hope they can get Megan Fox.— AK (@Akumar223) August 19, 2015
Megan fox back on the market. My Xmas wish list just changed.— Patricia Hayward (@_phayward) August 19, 2015
I hope Megan fox dates a woman again , it should be me— ARIANA FOLLOW ME PLS (@agbsvagina) August 19, 2015
Ultimate girl crush 😍😍😍 Megan Fox 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍— pat (@trishmofos) August 19, 2015
MEGAN FOX IS FINALLY SINGLE LETS ENJOY THIS BLESSING DAY— Morzy (@benzodope) August 19, 2015
Megan fox is single, time to shine— @domtaniell (@domtaniell) August 19, 2015
Megan Fox is single and my 2008 self has never been happier— cameron nash (@cameronnash) August 19, 2015
Megan Fox is now single but I still don't have a chance 😭— Hamza (@hamyyasim) August 19, 2015
Chin up, young man! You have just as much a chance as any of these guys.
It seems there is a small window of opportunity for @meganfox. Im sure she'll be looking for a real man, guess I'm not an option anymore.— Karl (@Ktischlhauser) August 19, 2015
Oh shit! Megan Fox single? I have a shot, fuck, but I'm basically still working on my relationship issues.— ♠♣Harley Quinn♦♥ (@MissXtreme_Kita) August 19, 2015
Finna slide in Megan Fox's dms with this. pic.twitter.com/01609FQo8p— Bart Simpson (@ItBartSimpsonYo) August 19, 2015
It's always nice when your boyfriend texts you saying "Megan fox is single now but I'm not gonna message her cos I love you" thanks mate— Bethany Worton (@bethanyworton_x) August 19, 2015
Megan Fox is now single and back on my Top 5 @ #2. #jlawstillnumber1— Eric Bakhtiari (@ebak92) August 19, 2015
What are the chances?!?! Megan fox and Gwen become available?!?! #lovemywife— ADDICTED TO TRACK (@electclint) August 19, 2015