We have some possibly devastating news: Pumpkin spice lattes do not actually contain pumpkin.
We repeat: Everything you have lived for the past decade is a lie. Unless you were part of that savvy and untrusting group of consumers who don't fall for marketing gimmicks and mesmerizing pictures of foliage—then it's probably old news that your precious PSLs are actually chock-a-block full of chemicals.
To be fair, Starbucks never really claimed that there was real pumpkin in the classic drink—it's called "pumpkin spice" for a reason. But it's still a wee bit disconcerting that the latte is made with ingredients that have names like "Caramel Color Level IV" and "Citric Acid." Yum! You can practically taste the crunchy foliage.
But that's all about to change, because Starbucks announced today that they're putting the "pumpkin" back in "pumpkin spice latte."
"After hearing from customers and partners about ingredients, we took another look at this beverage and why we created it so many years ago," the company wrote in a statement. "It was simple—espresso, perfectly steamed milk, warm fall spices with delicious flavor of pumpkin pie that reminds you of the cool, crisp days of autumn. So, with that great taste you know and love, the PSL returns this fall, and this time it will be made with real pumpkin and without caramel coloring."
Did you hear that? Real pumpkin ingredients! No scary chemically-created caramel colors! You can now drink your PSLs with complete and total abandon. You can Instagram yourself holding up your PSL in front of a beautiful golden-red tree without worrying that it might give you cancer. You can use #PSL to caption a picture of your coffee cup at a pumpkin patch without worrying that you are a total pumpkin fraud.
You can go full-on basic bitch with almost no health-related repercussions. Minus all the sugar...you'll have to answer to your dentist about that. Drink on, PSL lovers!
Twitter / @TheRealPSL