Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images
Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images
Turns out Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog don't have it all figured out.
While we're praying assuming that ultimately we'll be able to file this away under hilarious publicity stunt, dreamed up to boost interest in the Muppets' return to prime time this fall, the epic couple just joined the ever-deepening showbiz-relationship dumpster bin.
Kermit and Piggy revealed today that they were splitting after the better part of four decades together, making their breakup by far the hardest pill to swallow of the medicine we've had to take so far this summer.
Because if you can't count on your favorite puppets sticking together, really... What is there?
Courtesy: Richard Harbaugh
We could spend all day going into why this happened (we're going to bet that tart Denise in marketing had something to do with it—it's not easy warding off the temptation when you're green!), but right now, all we want to do is crank the Taylor Swift tunes and parse through the wreckage left behind by the failure of perhaps the last great Hollywood romance brought to you by the Jim Henson Company.
Meanwhile, we hope that the reconciliation doesn't take all season, because look at all the people who just gave up on love, if not the bounty of all of life's possibilities:
It's official Kermit & Miss Piggy is the most devastating breakup of this decade— k. (@absolutelykori) August 4, 2015
What?????!! First Jen and Ben and then Gwen & Gavin and now Miss Piggy and Kermit... what hope is left? https://t.co/BrgqgYxKYe— Chloe Gotsis (@MediaGalChloe) August 4, 2015
American news media reports Kermit and Miss Piggy have broken up AND Trump leads the GOP field. You may weep now, Greatest Generation.— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) August 4, 2015
The Kermit / Piggy split could well be the thing that finally breaks Twitter... https://t.co/FWoHW0JbmQ— Stuart Taylor (@stuartctaylor) August 4, 2015
Even Kermit and Miss Piggy?! Why is EVERYONE breaking up this summer? https://t.co/Ll33oXDu6a— Ashley Dunn (@ashleycdunn) August 4, 2015
Kermit and Miss Piggy broke up and I'm taking this way harder than I should be.— Neil McNeil (@Neil_McNeil) August 4, 2015
If even Kermit and Miss Piggy can't make it work, I have no chance. I'm going to be single FOREVER. https://t.co/xTV5NU6sHu— Rob Roland (@robdaemon) August 4, 2015
Ms. Piggy and Kermit are done too?? What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) August 4, 2015
FIRST ZAYN AND PERRIE NOW KERMIT THE FROG AND MISS PIGGY WHAT IS THISE WORLD COMING TO— chels (@THEchelsnut) August 4, 2015
Gavin Rossdale and Kermit can move into a swingin' bachelor pad for my new sitcom. they're the original odd couple!— John Locanthi (@HuekahJohn) August 4, 2015
OK, this fellow sees opportunity...
I feel like there something in the water, or maybe the heat, that I shouldn't drink. I mean, if Kermit and Miss Piggy can't make it work...— Alexis Anne (@AlexisAnneBooks) August 4, 2015
This Kermit and Miss Piggy breakup is hitting me HARD— Lucy Margaret Matz (@geegeetantan) August 4, 2015
Guess Kermit the frog couldn't quite make the bacon— jofraw (@jofraw) August 4, 2015
Kermit and Miss Piggy > Marge and Homer > Kim and Thurston > Gavin and Gwen— Arielle Castillo (@ariellec) August 4, 2015
Kermit and Miss Piggy are separating. In other news, God is dead.— elle mfao (@ellecoxon) August 4, 2015