To the Internet, The New York Times just did something that was on par with running a 9,000 word article about how everyone should accept Donald Trump as the world's one true king. People are that pissed off.
What did they do?
THEY TOLD PEOPLE TO PUT PEAS INTO GUACAMOLE.
Now, we're rational humans, for the most part. We don't mind when people put new spins on classic dishes. Hell, we're even totally fine with healthy versions of comfort food. We'll eat quinoa mac and cheese, no problem.
But guac?! You leave guacamole alone, New York Times! This is avocado blasphemy, straight up.
"Add green peas to your guacamole. Trust us," read the offensive tweet. How can we trust you when the first sentence you wrote had "green peas" and "guacamole" in it? Just no.
"Adding fresh English peas to what is an otherwise fairly traditional guacamole is one of those radical moves that is also completely obvious after you taste it," reads the recipe description. "The peas add intense sweetness and a chunky texture to the dip, making it more substantial on the chip."
There is nothing that can make guacamole better so what are you even doing?!
Guacamole should be left in its purest form. We don't take kindly to anyone messing with the recipe in any drastic way. And when the NY Times hit "publish" on this recipe tip, they had no idea they were hitting "publish" on Twitter calling for their blood.
Just because adding peas to your guacamole doesn't taste bad, doesn't mean you should do it. Have some respect for yourselves.— Carrie Raisler (@TVandDinners) July 1, 2015
?Yo dawg, we heard you like green peas, so we put green peas inside your green peas!" pic.twitter.com/Fleo1cZsPM— Eric Haywood (@EricHaywood) July 1, 2015
@nytimes you guys are being really offensive and tbh I'm contemplating an unfollow— William Turton (@WilliamTurton) July 1, 2015
I just wanted to state for the record that I work at The New York Times & I do not support putting peas in guacamole.— Justin Sablich (@JSablichNYT) July 1, 2015
And we don't say this very often, but we whole-heartedly agree with the Internet on this one. And before you roll your eyes at all the random people on Twitter who are angry over this terrible mistake, then you should know that the freakin' President of the United States has weighed in and guess what?! The leader of the free world hates it, too!
respect the nyt, but not buying peas in guac. onions, garlic, hot peppers. classic. https://t.co/MEEI8QHH1V? President Obama (@POTUS) July 1, 2015
"[R]espect the nyt, but not buying peas in guac. onions, garlic, hot peppers. classic," Barack Obama tweeted, proving himself to be the greatest president to ever rule this great nation.
SCOTUS latest rulings are really cool and all, but when is someone going to pass a law banning any form of tampering with the classic guacamole recipe?! Those are the real issues.