A new couple emerges! A shocking paternity reveal! Yep, it's just another ordinary day on the Upper East Side!
Tonight's installment of Gossip Girl was jam-packed with drama, including a major shift in the Chuck (Ed Westwick), Blair (Leighton Meester) and Dan (Penn Badgley) love triangle as the soon-to-be divorced B makes a choice between the two men. Plus, Cece's funeral brings out the worst in her family and serves as the setting for one of the Van der Woodsen's most scandalous secrets to be revealed. Spoiler alert: Serena (Blake Lively) has another sibling!
So who did Blair choose? And who is Serena's secret sibling?
WHAT WE LEARNED
Blair Chooses Dan...For Now: Blair and Chuck start the episode on very different missions: She may have found a loophole in her pre-nup while he's intent on destroying Dan's love life. "His chances with her will be destroyed and she will be mine again," Chuck says of telling Blair that Dan sent the video to Gossip Girl. Blair accuses Chuck of lying about the e-mail, but he maintains his innocence. When Blair confronts Dan about the blast, he admits that he sent it, but only to stop the wedding because he knew Blair wouldn't be happy with Louis (Hugo Becker). And just like that: Dan is forgiven!
Blair finds an unlikely ally in her quest for an anullment: her Royal minder who is in love with Prince Louis! It turns out the Grimaldis will let Blair leave her marriage if she promises never to speak of the marriage and her separation. Too bad Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg) who is listening just outside of the door, isn't under a gag order and happens to have Dan's phone. Georgina and Chuck team up and send the picture of Dan and Blair kissing to Gossip Girl causing the Grimaldis to ask Blair to pay the dowry. Yikes! Oh, and it turns out the royal minder (truth: we can never remember her name) lied about the deal!
Finally, the three points of the love triangle come to a head: "Dan has been trying to keep us apart, so he could have you all to himself," Chuck proclaims and Dan admits it's the truth before walking off. But before Chair fans could begin their celebration, Blair dashes Chuck's dream of a reunion. "I love you. I always will, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you. At least not right now, not the way you need me to be, not the way you deserve," she tells a heartbroken Chuck.
After making a deal with the devil Georgina that will secure her family's fortune, Blair heads to Brooklyn. "I told Chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore," she tells Dan. "I realized it belongs to someone else." And then they kissed...and it was different from their previous kisses: this was their first kiss as a legitimate couple. After Blair says his name, not Humphrey, but Dan, he says, "You said my name. Say it again."
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Family Feud: Cece may be gone, but she is still providing the drama. Cece gave very detailed instructions for her wake and funeral and it's very Irish...think whiskey, bagpipes, the works, all to be housed in Lily (Kelly Rutherford) and Rufus' (Matthew Settle) apartment, naturally, which actually belongs to Cece. Remember this as it will be important later.
Papa Van der Woodsen (William Baldwin) makes his triumphant return to the UES as he's the executor of Cece's estate. While Lily gets her hands on the paintings...Ivy (Kaylee Defer) gets almost everything else. No, we don't mean Charlie, Cece's will states that Ivy Dickens will receive a hefty inheritance! Cece knew all of Ivy's secrets and still left her everything. Burn! Serena and Lily accuse Ivy of "poisoning" Cece against her family, but Ivy says all she wanted to do was take care of Cece and admits she loves her. Later, Ivy deals a low blow to Lily and Rufus, the couple who took her in: "This is my apartment now," Ivy says, kicking Lily and Rufus out of their apartment. Oh snap! It's on like Donkey Kong, y'all!
Sister Sister: The biggest bombshell dropped in this episode? Serena and Charlie aren't cousins, they're sisters...from the same mister! Yes, William is Ivy's real father as the "good" doctor cheated on Lily while they were married...with her sister. Damn, the Van der Woodsens are giving the families on Game of Thrones some serious competition for most dysfunctional. While Charlie has yet to find out this information and says she wants nothing to be with the money-hungry family, we're betting this relevation might change her mind.
As for Serena, aside from gaining a new sister (not that she knows about that yet), she also may have gained a new title: Gossip Girl! While hurricane Georgina swept through the UES this episode, she's decided to give up her post as Gossip Girl, which she found to be pretty boring. Instead of, you know, sending a USB or files via e-mail, she sends her entire laptop containing the city's dirtiest secrets to S.
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Uncle Jackass No More!: Lily reveals that it was Uncle Jack Bass (Desmond Harrington) who saved Chuck's life after the car accident as he needed an emergency blood transfusion during his surgery. Our only question? Isn't Jack living pretty far away from the UES? Someone who lives a bit closer? Diana Payne (Elizabeth Hurley), who we know Jack has been in touch with. Things that make you go hmmm...
When we spoke to executive producer Josh Safran about Hurley's return to the show and Diana's connection to the Bass family, he would only tease, "That story is far from over." And yes, Jack will return as an ally for his nephew Chuck, in case the whole saving-his-life part didn't make that obvious. "He's still an unrepentant bad boy, but he's enjoying it a little bit more," Safran says.
Hope for Chair Lovers: We know this episode was probably pretty difficult for fans of Chuck and Blair's relationship, but just remember what Safran once told us: "Chuck and Blair are never over." Also, Chuck will be a little preoccupied with a storyline unrelated to Blair to truly pine...for now.
Dream Sequence: Though the promo for the show's April 2 return teases Dan and Blair's lack of...sexual chemistry (remisicent of a certain O.C. couple, no?), we can say that those kissing pictures (you know the ones) from episode 19 are not a dream sequence. Take from that what you will.
What did you think of tonight's episode? Are you happy Dan and Blair are officially together or do you prefer Blair with Chuck? Were you surprised as we were when it was revealed William is Charlie's father? Sound off in the comments!