If you can tear yourself away from the sparklers and alcohol, treat yourself to a celebration of a small part of ourt nation's history. Meaning what happened in Soup last week.
Kristen Stewart: The lissome young Twilight enchantress showed up on Live with Regis and Kelly to reveal the lowdown on her drooling, aggressive bedmate. Could she be talking about sharing the Serta with ... Larry King?
Regis Philbin: The lovable morning chat show crank is strictly old school. So when soccer great Landon Donovan appeared on Live with Regis and Kelly, ol' Reg was understandably somewhat confused. It's not like the guy was on the Brooklyn Dodgers, for cryin' out loud.
Danielle Staub: The hated Real Housewife of New Jersey has developed a certain flair for dealing with those in the Garden State she feels have crossed her. It's a delicate balance of overweening bitchiness and economic treachery. Why she isn't holding public office in NJ is anybody's guess.
You're Cut Off: There's no greater hardship than to have one's money flow nipped in the bud. Especially when all you have going for you are the kind of looks and intelligence that'll land you on a VH1 reality show. Having established that, the whole thing is worth it just to hear distressed, cut off Pamela pronouce "mundane."
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And what better way to celebrate our nation's independence than to gaze at the hot bods of Hollywood celebs? God bless America!