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Longtime Quacker Factory host and beloved Soup favorite Jeanne Bice not only wears a headband better than Pat Benatar and Rambo combined, she's an expert at making an afternoon cable pitch show feel as comfy as granny's kitchen. And that means savory homemade snacks! But how good are they? Jeanne claims serious bragging rights.

Unlike Jeanne, apparently, one of our goals is to someday have sex that's at least slightly better than a bacon-wrapped breadstick.

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Jeanne, drop the canapé and feast your eyes on Joel McHale, Male Model.