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We won't bum you out by bringing alleged muderer Joran van der Sloot into the forefront of your mind any more than we have to. But you should know there's an angle to this whole tragic story that news outlets have failed to cover. Fortunately, pretend news outlet Extra is here to pick up the slack.

And up next on Extra: You gotta figure there will be a movie about the Gulf oil disaster. Who will play the voice of this dying, oil-soaked pelican? How about Bobcat Goldthwait? He has a funny voice! Oh boy, we really should just stick to covering Justin Bieber and celebrity nip slips, shouldn't we?

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Who knows, Josh? Maybe you'll end up in our Actors Playing for Real gallery.