Evidentally the Real Housewives of New York City haven't learned a fundamental lesson from their Tri-State-area counterparts in New Jersey: It's a lot more entertaining to watch ruthless character assassination, shame-based personality meltdowns and overblown acts of petty rage in public places than it is to suffer through bad disco singing.

Welcome to Countess LuAnn deLesseps's irony-pushing public debut of her song "Money Can't Buy You Class," wherein the Housewife not only gives a lip-synched performance that would humiliate a tipsy drag queen, but teaches a valuable life lesson to stunned Jill Zarin and Kelly Bensimon.

While we're on the subject, here are a few other things money can't buy ...

1. A redefinition of the word "elegance" to accommodate embarrassing floral-print stretch pants.

2. The ability to move your body rhythmically.

3. Talent.

4. A roomful of alleged friends who will gyrate slightly to your ridiculous song for a TV crew. Oh wait, it can buy you that.

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Take heart, Countess. You're not the only one humiliating yourself on national television.

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