In the "religion" of Scientology, proud member Kirstie Alley has, according to Wikipedia, achieved the rarified state of Operating Thetan level 7. Per the  Technical Dictionary of Dianetics and Scientology, this allows her to "control or operate thought, life, matter, energy, space and time." 

Unfortunately, it doesn't allow her to control her waistline.

It's a good thing, though, as Kirstie's career is currently based solely on blubber.

Which brings us to her Big Life, which includes the hilarious prank of phoning her African American trainer and telling him she has issues with black people.

Who said fat people aren't jolly? Pass the Funyons!