Sandra Bullock, Jesse James

Steve Granitz/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Crap. I actually thought that Sandra Bullock kissed a frog and he became her prince. Now I'm reading that Jesse James is a real toad stool. Please tell me that it's just a rumor! Is it someone just trying to get their "15 minutes"?
—D

Dear Fairytale:
Whether the claims made against James are true or not, it's obvious this broad just wants attention—I mean, hello, she works for a cybersex site. Like all annoying fame whores, if we ignore her she'll just disappear—but that's just wishful thinking, because we all know the tabs and news outlets are already all over this woman's story.

Dear Ted:
Gossip makes my world go 'round, and I absolutely adore your blog...but I'm curious: we live in such a litigious society, why don't celebs take more action against trashy tabloids that make up stuff? I know "all publicity is good publicity," but don't people in general want to maintain a decent reputation?
—M

Dear Legal Eagle:
Sure, celebs would love to be seen as saints (à la Angelina) and control their media attention as much as possible, but at the same time if a star goes after a story with too much conviction most people are just going to say there must be truth to it. The celebs who get poo-pooed on by the tabloids and such just hope if they ignore it, it will go away.

Dear Ted:
I think I understand why you are getting all these angry letters about Lady Gaga's weight loss. In almost all her interviews she states that she loves her fans and that everyone should be proud of themselves. If she is being forced to lose weight to fit the "ideal look" then she will be going against everything she was saying! What I can't understand is how do women like Beyoncé and Mariah Carey survive in this Industry without being thin? It's a shame people are no longer judged on talent but more appearance; hence the only reason why Megan Fox has a career.
—Doli

Dear Thinspiration:
Puh-lease
. B and M.C. may not be stick thin, but those babes have banging bodies. I, for one, would choose Bey's curvalicious self over any of these withering pop stars. And who says you can't be talented and hot? Seems like Beyoncé has that down fine.

Dear Ted:
Is Nevis Divine Anton Yelchin? He's been around for a while, but been really busy lately in New York, I Love You. Born in Russia. Young. On a "Most Beautiful People" list. Am I close? I have rescued 3 dogs and a cat.
—Jessica

Dear Space Case:
The Star Trek stud may be getting more recognition lately, but he's far from Nevis' level of notoriety. Like...eons. Think bigger, more dazzling really.

Dear Ted:
An Aussie celeb mag contains this story: "Why Orlando split! Miranda's sketchy ex, Adrian Camilleri, has been released from jail. Miranda and Orlando are headed for a bumpy road!" Any truth to it? Probably not, although I wish they would split, she is all wrong for Orlando. Just because they look good together doesn't mean they are right for each other. What do you think?
—Troy

Dear Outback:
Orly and Miranda Kerr definitely do look good together though. And hey—at least Miranda is working and can support O.B. while he tries to reboot his career (which, also, a tabloid scandal could totally help).

Dear Ted:
Regarding Henrietta Hardball...you do realize that the people on your message boards are convinced it's Sarah Palin, right? Was this your plan from the beginning? It's a shame that people like you can't debate Palin on the actual issues. Instead you have to resort to slander. Just like the gifting suite stories that were debunked by all those involved. Shameless, Ted, shameless. We all know you won't post this, though, because you have no possible defense for it.
—Katrina

Dear Palin In the Ass:
I'd be happy to debate on Palin's flawed political standpoints, but this is a gossip blog. So as long as Palin is screwing around in H'wood (which seems like it will be a while, what with her love of swag suites—as confirmed by the vendors themselves—and desire to have a TV show), I'll continue to give her the Hollywood treatment.

And let's be very clear: the swag stories were not debunked. Some of the suite hosts debated the number of items taken by Palin, but, the vendors themselves confirmed the actual numbers of the items on camera. So, watch it with your legal accusations, sweetums.

Dear Ted:
Has Jeremy Renner ever been a Blind Vice? I feel like he's too new to the spotlight to have one, but I would kinda love to be wrong. You're my fave gossip keep up the good work!
—Laura

Dear Too Bad:
Nope, the Oscar nommed noobie hasn't made his Blind Vice debut yet—though I'm sure he feels like he has these days.

Dear Ted:
I think a majority of your readers (as well as other gossip devourers) have correctly determined the identity of Toothy Tile. If he knew how many people nationwide have a strong suspicion/conviction of his real identity, do you think his mind would change about staying in the closet? I know—there are still so many closed-minded people out there, including the big suits in Hollywood.
—J

Dear Mass Appeal:
I think the whole country could actually know who T.T. was and he still wouldn't publicly come out—not yet, at least.

Dear Ted:
Yikes Ted, why did you start that firestorm by using the word "bomb" and Rob in the same sentence? I typed in a comment about all the reasons I thought it was a haunting movie, and I was 616th. After reading the interview with the RM writer it confirmed my feelings about the movie—it was based on real life situations and didn't really become complete until the ending. Let's sit back, watch, and enjoy Rob become.
—Id

Dear Last Comment:
Rob fans are nothing if not dedicated—which is why so many of them missed the point that I thought Rob was good in the movie, I just didn't think the movie overall was anything amazing.

Dear Ted:
You have been awfully quiet about Marky Sweet-Puss and Cruella St. Shackles can we get an update on the twosome? Thanks, honey bunch!
—Ash

Dear Couple Canoodling:
Marky and Cruella are still up to their super kinky ways, but that's not what you'll hear about them. Actually, if you've heard about them at all lately it was probably praising the duo.

Dear Ted:
Rachel Bilson
and Hayden Christensen's questionable relationship has me wondering about Adam Brody. Has he ever been a BV?
—C

Dear Good Question:
Nope, that was back when Rachel knew just how to have a good, hot relationship.

Dear Ted:
Would you categorize Secretia Ohio's figure as curvy or stick thin? Also, is Nevis' beard also playing for both teams?
—Nico

Dear Hot Bods and Horny Beards:
I wouldn't describe Secretia as neither—she tends to fall somewhere in the middle. But my, my what a sexy figure she has. As for Nev's lady friend? She's open minded, to say the least. But you would be too to put up with Nev's scandalous ways.

Dear Ted:
Some of the comments to your outing Morning Piss made a point that I have always dismissed, but am now rethinking. Most gossip writers would think nothing about "outing" an unfaithful spouse or a heterosexual celebrity couple, but there is a strong taboo against outing a homosexual celebrity. I understand why: to come out of the closet is very difficult, and to force someone out before they are ready can harm the person and those that they care about. However, does this taboo serve to reinforce the same cultural bigotry that puts people in the closet in the first place?
—Em

Dear Privacy Problem:
Yes. But, what's the solution? Out people just to help out society?

Dear Ted:
I love you and your golden heart. So here is my opinion: I think Kristen is too much for Rob. I know I will be attacked by many Robsten fans, but the truth is Kristen deserves someone who does not make a fool of himself in front of everyone. She is constantly there to save the day. Remember Me was good. Summit should of properly promoted it. And now I hear that they're comparing Robert Pattinson with Hayden Christensen? How did this happen? In my opinion, Hayden was the only reason I loved Star Wars. Please post this I want to see how many people think like me!
—B

Dear Brave B:
I've never thought of Rob as unable to keep his cool in public, so I'm not sure when you think he's playing the court jester—but K.Stew is a smart gal and she's good at picking the dudes she dates. Give the girl a little trust, eh?

Dear Ted:
You well know that a lot of actors in Hollywood (who aren't gay) have played gay on the screen. It's almost a rite of passage in their pursuit of fame and glory. Russell Crowe, Jake Gyllenhaal, Will Smith, Robert Downey Jr., Leonardo DiCaprio, and Al Pacino all come to mind. What about Nevis Divine? Does he have his gay cinema bona fides (and I'm talking about on the screen, not in the trailer with his co-stars)? Or is it still too early in his career?
—Mike

Dear Going Gay:
While Nevis has never been to Brokeback Mountain, he's explored the more...complicated side of sexuality.

________

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