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Robert Pattinson

Jon Furniss/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
How much is Kristen Stewart's press team paying you to promote her, her film, and bash Rob Pattinson? Please, all the non Twihards know that this chick cannot act and has no grace in reality. Why bother? Leave Robert Pattinson alone.
—Jode

Dear PR Problem:
Babe, I would hardly consider myself a Twihard. Totally love the kids, but the movies are not great—and that's being more than generous. Which is exactly why I want to see R.Pattz and K.Stew in films that are actually good. I gave Rob his credit—his acting was solid—but the movie was a dud no matter which way you look at it.

Dear Ted:
I'm pro-love and couldn't care less about anyone's sexual preference and think it's terrible that gay actors have to hide their sexuality in order to have a successful career. That said, I kind of agree...or at least understand why they feel the need to hide it. I wish it weren't the case, but I have to be honest in saying that it does make a difference to me when I'm watching a gay man or woman in a heterosexual role, its just not believable. Like Neil Patrick Harris—such a cutie, so talented, great actor, love him...but can't watch him in a hetero role. Is it just me? What do you think the answer is? More gay roles as the norm? I'm just curious as to what you think about this. Also, why does it seem there are fewer lesbians in Hollywood? There are always rumors of gay men but not women...do they just hide it better?
—Lola

Dear Honest to a Fault:
Obviously you do care about someone's sexual preference if it affects the way you see that actor when he is playing a role—and that mentality is why gay actors are so afraid to come out. Just because, say, Angie and Brad play assassins in Mr. & Mrs. Smith doesn't mean they're out killing people on the weekend. And R.Pattz playing a vamp doesn't mean you'll find him sucking blood on his off hours. So why should it be any different for gays playing straight?

Dear Ted:
We hear plenty about Rob and Kristen and I absolutely love all the news you post since you are always so accurate, but what's going on with the rest of the cast? What's going on with Jackson Rathbone, Ashley Greene, Elizabeth Reaser, and Nikki Reed? We already see Kellan Lutz all over the place and Peter Facinelli updates us all on his Twitter. Any good gossip on them?
—K

Dear Great Question:
You know who's got the best goss out of this roundup? Kellan. He's as hot as those underwear shots but, super-careful about not letting his private life hang out like his package. Totally unlike, say, Nikki. Jackson's a total hottie, too, look for more outward goings-on from him, for sure. Peter's happily married, like, hello, boring? Ashley's the new Nikki, working it-wise, but, AT's gonna start paying for careful attention to Kel-babe, ok by you folks? Plus, he's an adorable doggie love, it's a win-win!

Dear Ted:
I think that Demi and Joe's relationship is for the press, since there in Camp Rock and Camp Rock 2. My fake-o-meter rates there fakness at about a 9.5. What do you think?
—Erin

Dear Disney Dud:
Disney nudging its tween cash cows into publicity snatching senarios? Shocker. Sounds like Mickey Mouse may be taking some lessons from The CW.

Dear Ted:
Saw Remember Me twice so far. My husband who's no pushover thought Rob showed his acting chops and did a great job. Liked it a lot and don't understand why more people aren't seeing it!
—Caz

Dear Pattz Perplexed:
Totally agree that R.Pattz was able to show a much wider range than the brooding bloodsucker allowed, but I wouldn't expect people to be lining up to catch R.M.—not with those less than stellar reviews it's getting.

Dear Ted:
I give you a lot of love in my various questions that you have posted. I think you're fabulous—if I didn't, I wouldn't tune in daily! But, you've lost me on this latest Morning Piss. Writing that other bloggers are trying to out an actor sends readers on a hunt to find out his identity, thus further spreading the rumor. And, I'm sorry, but I truly believe that Blind Vices are just as bad as saying a person's name outright, albeit politer. Because of your Blind Vices, I associate certain people with certain lifestyles. Whether my instincts are true is another story, however I still can't read about a certain someone without thinking "That poor Toothy Tile!" I still love you.
—Helen

Dear Vice Crisis:
The rumors about that certain celeb are out there already—and not on tiny goss blogs, mind you—so I felt it deserved addressing. How you take BV's is your prerogative, but the simple fact of the matter is that I will never explicitly out someone and I don't pressure the Vice stars to admit their sexuality. I just like reporting their dirty deets. And they secretly so love it!

Dear Ted:
I know it's wrong, but there's something about short attractive men! Has Jeremy Piven ever been the subject of a Blind Vice?
—Jim

Dear Ew:
Jeremy Piven a short, attractive man? He's one of the two. 'Tho, when I think about it J.P. is, what, 5'7"? Believe it or not, that's not terribly short by H'wood standards.

Dear Ted:
What is going on with Avril Lavigne? Avril is wasted and partying all the time, she has been linked to 7 different men (like Brandon Davis, Wilmer Valderrama, Brody Jenner, and Tyson Ritter) since the summer last year and spotted at least 3 times in NY, Las Vegas, and Miami making out with other guys who are not celebrities. And about the gay relationships she has had—she has had 2 girlfriends and one is named Jamie.
—R

Dear Sk8r Boi:
Looks like she hasn't matured past that rebel persona she so totally wanted us to buy back when she was putting out her lame music.

Dear Ted:
Are you really comparing Rob's movie that was out in 2000 theaters while the other films were out in over 4000 theaters?
—Jay

Dear Statistics:
Dear John
released in less than 1,000 theatres more than Remember Me, but made four times as much money. Considering that both male leads are similarly famous (tho of late R.Pattz has more name recognition) and that both movies were toted along the same publicity lines, the two should have been at least in the same ballpark in terms of profit.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Bar Refaeli and Leo will get married? He always looks so miserable in pictures with her, he can't be in love? Thanks.
—Val

Dear Wedding Bells:
Not anytime soon—why tie the knot when you can live up the bachelor lifestyle and still get the perks of having a supermodel girlfriend?

Dear Ted:
Are Nick and Miley mad or not talking to each other? Because they saw each other at the Oscar after party and at the Grammy's but didn't talk to each other.
—Nas

Dear Drama Mama:
Miley loves to stir the pot—duh—which applies to both the public and her private life. The girl knows how to keep things exciting and keep those Disney dudes on their toes.

Dear Ted:
So, why is it when "Saint Angelina" donates even just a tad of monies (like she just did for the girl's school in Afghanistan) that it spreads all over the news like a bad rash, but when two stars do the same thing under the radar (Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban who donated to a school in Haiti), it appears no where? Truly frustrating for many reason! So, make my day and give two true stars a shout out, yes, meaning Keith and Nicole, will ya? Please, please?
—Ami

Dear Receiving Recognition:
N.K. and hubby's donation obviously made the news—how would we know about it? But Ange is the bigger star, so it makes sense she gets more press. Either way, kudos to both for helping.

Dear Ted:
Now that Kate Winslet is single can we hope to see a reunion for Kate and Leo in real life? Please say yes!
—Hailey

Dear Titanic Fan:
Don't count on it. As much chemistry as the two have onscreen, Kate isn't Leo's type. And vice versa, to be fair.

Dear Ted:
I love that you promote rescuing animals. However, can you please tell people that if they are not willing to actually take care of the animal(s) then don't bother. I have 3 of my 4 cats because people were not taking care of them. I did not want to see them suffer so I just took them. Also, my brother took a dog and a cat off of his friend who was not properly caring for his animals. What did this friend do? Oh yeah you guessed it. He got another dog which my brother is now trying to take as well. Just going to the shelter to get a pet is not enough. You have to be willing to properly take care of that pet for the rest of its life. Give my love to your furry friends, Ted.
—Gaz

Dear Doggie Duty:
Brava for all your hard work. And to you dummies who think that having a little pooch is like having the latest fashion accessory, think again. Taking in a pet is a lot of work, but if you can put in the time, you'll get a lot of puppy love in return.

Dear Ted:
I wouldn't say that Remember Me bombed. Numbers-wise, it was OK. Story wise, also OK. Acting wise, better than OK—but nothing spectacular. Let's face it. Remember Me is a drama. It's not going to be a mega blockbuster. The fact that it made back half of its budget in one weekend is a testament to Rob's devoted fans (like me). But subject matter wise, it's not a movie that I would normally pay to see on the big screen—add on the fact that some people might still be a bit sensitive to the plot and perhaps this would have been a much better film had it been made independently and not by Summit. Summit is totally just trying to cash in on Rob's popularity and completely marketed this wrong. But Rob sure looked hot and I would watch him in anything.. wouldn't you agree, Ted?
—Em

Dear Deeply Devoted:
If R.Pattz looks as yummy as in R.M., we would watch him read the phone book, or any Twilight script, same difference.

________

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