Alliances trumped class strength in tonight's Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains voting...does this mean the end for a few good men? Did last week's flip-flopper jeopardize his position in the tribe? And speaking of deceit, what gift to the Castaways is just a phony prop? For all this and more—as Jeff Probst would say—"Come on in, guys!"
The Strong Will Not Survive on the Heroes Tribe: Looks like Jeff is going to stay pissed off at the Heroes. Even though James is strong on paper, that's not why he was spared tonight. Good for Sir Tom (sorry, Coach Lancelot, Tom is the only knight here) for calling his executioners out on their "pretense" of keeping James around for his physical ability. It's also hard to disagree with Tom's characterization of James as "all mass, no class." (We'll find out if he still feels that way in Friday's exclusive chat.)
Is Anyone Still Rooting for the Heroes? Not Jeff. He loathes their strategy (even if they elude Tribal, Jeff finds it "unsatisfying" when coattail riders make it to the end), is appalled by James' behavior and really took the alpha males' chocolate snubbing personally. That was a little baffling—how many guys really go gaga for chocolate?—but Alpha Probst showing Colby who's boss—"I got the message, brother: We'll go when I'm ready"—was tastier than that reward.
J.T. Is a Goner: No one was buying his "I did it for the team" excuses after ousting Cirie, and now he's the only Hero with a Sole Survivor title. Rupert also has a million bucks, but that doesn't mean he's viewed as a threat, even when he's "a lot pissed off."
Who's the Biggest Douche, James or Rupert? Was Rupert "a lot pissed off" at Jerri when he threw her down in the Schmergenbrawl challenge? Based on their treatment of female Castaways, these "heroes" don't know the first thing about chivalry.
Return of the King: Russell's possession of the Immunity Idol might not put a target on his back after all. He's got Parvati on his side, the idol in his pocket and Coach kneeling before him. (When he's not practicing Dragon Slayer Chi, that is. Seriously, when the Coach Crazy Train stops at my station, I'm hopping aboard—if only to console him for being so naïve.) If Awesome Rob changes his mind about "flushing out" the immunity idol, he might be in trouble. (Sadface.)
By now, the defeated Heroes have spent so much time with Jeff they could find their way to Tribal Council blindfolded. But what about those Disneyfied maps directing Castaways to their camps and water? About as fake as the hikes to the challenges and Tribal Council I told you about last week. As one of Survivor's greatest comedians told me, the maps "are all totally fake."
"In fairness," he added, "we're a bunch of idiot game show contestants."
WHO WILL GET VOTED OFF NEXT
Betcha the Villains tribe could follow a map to Tribal Council. But will they have to? My money's on yes—Mark Burnett & Co. might sneak in another sumo wrestling challenge just to even the playing field. Even if there is a puzzle segment, Awesome Rob and R.Hantz's alpha-beta male showdown (teased by the previews) could fracture the Villains fragile union and cost them immunity. If a puzzle's involved, Colby's going home; if it's all physical, the Villains will still be smart enough to vote out the weaker Tyson or Courtney.
Whose torch do you think Jeff will snuff next? Cast your vote in our Heroes vs. Villains exit poll...and check back here later on Friday for our exit interview with (sniff) Tom!
Size up the Heroes and Villains in our gallery!