Who wouldn't want a piece of that? Oh, yeah. Them.
Just when you thought it was safe to once again pick up outdated, decidedly unsexy lady porn, Playgirl has put forth an offer of $20,000 to photograph Jon Gosselin's full monty.
Which, if the TMI-tweeting Hailey Glassman is to be believed, works out to around $10,000 per inch...
Via a Twitter post earlier this week, Glassman both exacted vengeance on her ex and managed to get herself back in the news (talk about your twofer) by posting a link to what she claimed was a photo of Jon's rather tiny manhood (definitely not safe for work—and scroll at your own peril).
The photo, which was subsequently taken down by Twitter but not before being screengrabbed for posterity, featured the purported Li'l Jon posing alongside a tape measure.
Which should have been the first clue that it was a fake. That no identifiable part of Gosselin's body featured in the photo was the second. That the photo has been widely circulated on the Internet for some time was—if you still need one at this point—the third.
Not that logic has ever stopped Glassman before.
"Yes. YOU KNOW WHO THIS NASTY PENIS belongs to!" Glassman tweeted while linking to the photo. "I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit. EW the torture!"
Funny how the torture only starts when the headlines stop, but nevermind that.
"LOOK," she defended herself. "This man has Hurt, Cheated, Lied and stole from EVERYONE including HIS OWN FAMILY! He's single-handedly ruined + hurt so many women/lives.
"This is Karma. FYI don't F*ck with fire if you don't want to get Burned, and don't mess with the bull if you don't want the horns."
Yesterday, she retweeted a link to a Website that captured her initial photo, just for good measure.
But if Gosselin can tear himself away from his Kate-on-Dancing With the Stars ire long enough, he may be happy to know that all the manufactured drama hasn't deterred one potential suitor.
"I said if he's interested, let's do it," Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio told E! News of the proposition the magazine extended to Jon yesterday. "I said maybe $20,000 maybe for the novelty factor. No offense, but I don't think [Jon's] that attractive. People aren't going to be like, 'Ooh, it's going to be a hot shoot.'"
Yeah, they can't all be Levi Johnston.
"I doubt he will do it but I'm sure he would love the attention that Levi got. It would be hilarious, but I'm not going to offer him that much."
Gosselin, for maybe the first time ever, has yet to comment.
—Additional reporting by Whitney English
Stripping down was an offer the stars in our Celebrity Skin gallery couldn't refuse.