Bitch-Back! The Latest Details on R.Pattz

Readers want answers about his already infamous “vagina” interview

By Ted Casablanca Feb 17, 2010 4:12 PMTags
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Dear Ted:
I just read the Details article on Rob Pattinson. I guess I am a little confused...he said that he really hates vaginas and that he's allergic to vaginas. What!? Is he just trying to throw us off? Why would he say something like that?
—T

Dear Need the Deets:
Last time I checked, R.Pattz didn't have a Zyrtec prescription and he's been sneeze-free around his many sexy costars. Dude probably meant it as a harmless joke, but boy, did it get people talking. And people think K.Stew's smarter? Yeah, right.

Dear Ted:
Do you think the stars of your BV ever read them and try to change their ways, or at least give them some kind of courageeven if for a whileto come out and be free from all the secrecy?
BV Addict

Dear Optimist:
Stars are like 2-year-olds, they aren't going to do anything they don't want to. So...if they want to keep up their nasty little secrets, my poking isn't going to make them change.

Dear Ted:
I used to love coming to your site and reading about the latest happenings and gossip in Hollywood. But this obsession you've got with Danneel Harris has gotten absolutely ridiculous and even pathetic. I feel like I can't come on this site a single day without having you gush over Danneel or posting pictures of her. It's left a lot of people turned off and it's irritating as hell. A lot of people don't even take you seriously anymore.
R

Dear Overreacting:
Danneel hate has you blinded, babe. I only wrote about her last week when she appeared on Truth, Lies & Ted, then responded to letters that you readers sent in. I'd hardly say I've been throwing a Danneel parade.

Dear Ted:
I have a question about Toothy Tile: Did he start out his career being funny or as a serious actor? Thanks!
—V

Dear 20 Gay Questions:
Depends on how you meanstage, screen, otherwise? But, let's say this much: Toothy certainly became best known for being über-serious.

Dear Ted:
Have you seen Lainey's review of R.Pattz? I love the way she describes his flaccidness, as I've always thought "What a pretty boy, but can he deliver?" His constant self-deprecation detracts from what I consider to be attractive to the matronly crowd. Too much baby talk ruins the fantasy. I can't think of having to endure another year or two waiting for this poor guy to test his envelope. Do you think that's why Summit is pushing for the Twilight end and wants to launch the sex train?
—CM

Dear Pity Pattz:
With breaking Dawn into two movies, Summit ain't trying to distance themselves from the Twilight cash cow, but they definitely are upping the PDA between Bella and Edward to play on the obsession with Robsten.

Dear Ted:
Love the blog! I heard that Kristen Stewart will be in London for the BAFTA awards. Do you think we'll get a much needed Robsten fix?
—Mairead

Dear BAFTA Booty Call:
Kristen will be busy with the awards show (Brava, K.Stew on your "Rising Star" nom), so I wouldn't count on her having much time for a Robsten rendezvous. But we can keep our fingers crossed!

Dear Ted:
What's up with the Details interview with Robert Pattinson? Do you get a gay vibe from him? I read the whole article and to me, the comment on female private parts was a joke, but the tabs are going nuts over this. Any comment?
—Adri

Dear Gaydar:
R.Pattz certainly got a ton of press because of that interview, which is all the better with Remember Me coming out soon, but don't worry: K.Stew isn't Rob's beard.

Dear Ted:
Why isn't anyone around here commenting on the fact that Gerard Butler was seen in Brazil chatting up the ladies during Carnival? I think it pretty much proves that the whole Jen/Gerry "romance" was over before it even started!
—TM

Dear Caught at Carnival:
Please, Gerry being a man whore isn't exactly breaking news. As I've said, he and Jen aren't anything serious, certainly not anything exclusive, so his Brazilian romps aren't anything out of the ordinary.

Dear Ted:
Has Elizabeth Hasselbeck ever been a Blind Vice?
—Ashlie

Dear Must Be On Drugs:
You're joking, right?

Dear Ted:
Are Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off Jason Sehorn and Angie Harmon? Haven't heard much from them, other than the very public proposal years ago on Jay Leno.
—Elizabeth

Dear Proposing A Question:
Nope, but that is, dare I say, a very good guess.

Dear Ted:
Angelina Jolie
is obviously far from perfect, and there's a ton of fishy stuff going on with her. That being said—and for whatever motivation—she's been a passionate advocate for refugees around the world, a group of people who are so often completely forgotten. Personally, I find her and Brad kind of boring, but I'll always have a soft spot for her for speaking up for people that the world has essentially thrown away.
—B

Dear Angie Advocate:
Certainly, when you're at A.J.'s level of fame, you have to take the good with the bad. Yes, she's doing amazing work for underprivileged people, but she's always going to be tabloid fodder for her down-and-dirty love life.

Dear Ted:
Did you see the steamy new photos from Eclipse? OMG. I think we can give David Slade more credit, the pictures are soooo good. And maybe because he is not used to making PG-13 movies, this one will be better. Can't wait for the trailer!
—Adri

Dear Twi­­-Right:
I told you: Eclipse is going to be mucho sexy.

Dear Ted:
Why do you allow Twi-hards to bash Harry Potter? It's petty. They are totally different in the way they were written, the people who read them, the way they've been adapted for the screen, and the way they're promoted. Harry Potter has been an extremely beloved, successful, and critically acclaimed series, both in book and onscreen. That's indisputable. It's not Harry's fault that the Twilight books and movies have gotten such mixed reviews. But no way is Harry Potter mediocre. I believe Twilight, on the other hand, has been described that way. Repeatedly.
—Jitta

Dear Potter Head:
Don't shoot (or put a spell on) the messenger! I don't hate Harry Potter, by any means; I'm just posting what others think here. Hey, feel free to start the Twi vs. H.P. showdown (anything to take people off poor Danneel Harris, huh?).

Dear Ted:
My question for you: Like actors, do musicians have "handlers" or suits who reign them in from time to time? It seems J. Mayer's douche-baggery multiplies exponentially each week and I wonder where his team is hiding. It seems actors are told who to date, to stay in the closet, and how to maintain a well-crafted persona. I assume there is more freedom in the record biz? What's the explanation for why Toothy is still in the closet and Kanye and Mayer are left to their own devices?
—Kristen

Dear Singin' Out of Tune:
Musicians definitely have handlers, but not even the best in the biz can stop some of these celebs from showing their true colors. But who do you think prods these screw-ups to make public apologies afterward?

Dear Ted:
Well, I think you've won the day regarding Jennifer Garner. I could not believe that she came strutting out at the Golden Globes to present with Ashton Kutcher to promote Valentine's Day, where they appear from the promos to be the main couple. Remember a couple years ago when Michael Vartan said that Kutcher's Punk'd totally fabricated a story about him refusing to sign a release so we'd all think he was a poor sport and stuck on himself? Now I'm convinced that my suspicions that Bennifer 2 was behind that deal have some merit. Vartan has spoken supportively often of Garner and even of her romance with Affleck ("Their love is genuine") and gone out of his way to combat the rumors of bad blood between them. In the last year or so, I even read a quote that she's "like family" to him. But what kind of friend publicly cozies up to a guy who's screwed your good friend? Maybe I've missed it but why aren't you making hay with this?
—Jan

Dear Vartan Vixen:
Sometimes in the Industry, you've got to bury the hatchet for the sake of business. While J. Garner may not be as sweet as her dimples would lead us to believe, I doubt she was intentionally trying to hurt M.V. with her Valentine's Day promo.

________

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