Dear Way Harsh:
'Tho, at least she'd already have the garter belt ready to collect the dollar bills? Whether she goes traditional or stripper-chic, you know Danneel is going to look se-xy on her big day.
So I guess that's it, then. Jackles are just two heterosexual dudes marrying the girls they love. Not saying I'm not disappointed—since I really thought they were more than BFFs—but if that's not the case then I wish both Jensen and Jared luck (which I'm afraid they'll need judging by their choices in brides). Thanks for finally setting the record straight and being brave enough to admit when you're wrong about the marriages being fake.
Dear Wedding Wishes:
I never made any such admittance, but, I'd be happy to pass along your blessing during my toast at the reception.
Ok, now that you've confirmed Jared Padalecki as a Blind Vice, is he Jackie Bouffant? And is the ex-boyfriend Chad Michael Murray?
I wouldn't exactly call Jared an overnight superstar, which Jackie most definitely is. Nobody was knocking down J.P.'s door with movie offers after House of Wax came out.
I am not a big celebrity gossip person and have no idea who all these new celebs (i.e. the Twilight people) are, but I do have two questions for you: You and your posters frequently criticize A. Jolie, calling her a skank, a homewrecker, etc. but you yourself have said Pitt and Aniston were over before she came along. Even if they were not over, he was the married one with a commitment, not Angelina. So, why the hate? Seems to me like it plays on the sexist stereotype of women as "slutty" homewreckers, when no one put a gun to Pitt's head to cheat on Aniston. Second: I'm not a hater but why the obsession with Jennifer Aniston? I honestly think she is a terrible actress and not all that pretty (typical and bland).
Dear Old School:
I'll say it again: I don't hate Angie, but I wouldn't let her off so guilt-free—Brad and Jen weren't a low-key couple, so Ange definitely knew she was getting frisky with a married man. 'Tho, I totally agree that Brad is to blame, too, so I guess his looking so miserable now is karma, huh? And Jen is a hot mama who likes to have fun. She's not hurting anyone. She's pretty cool, you should come around.
John Mayer's description of the sex between him and Jessica Simpson was disgusting. I don't care for her but no female deserves that. He needs the wire from his brain to his mouth disconnected. What gives with that loser?
Dear Don't Wanna Hear It:
"Sexual napalm" is just little bit different than "Your Body Is A Wonderland," huh? The sad thing is he probably thought she would be flattered.
The majority of Rob's grown-up fans simply adore the fact that he seems to be in a mature, dedicated relationship with Kristen. His devotion to her and the fact that he lights up around her is an appealing and honest image. Would you please give your opinion as to why oh why his handlers want to push his "single guy" image? It is the general consensus among us fans that an image like that will ruin him and ultimately backfire on them. What do you think?
—Smart Fans in Numbers Greater Than Summit Thinks
Dear Image Control:
Just chalk it up the Zefron precedent. The PR think tanks tend to believe that the younger audiences are more receptive to a star if he is single—the girlfriend factor tends to ruin the daydream.
After John Mayer's unbelievably classless interview in which he did more than kiss and tell, I think it's time to out him as Super Duper Cooper. If he doesn't have respect for his ex-girlfriends' privacy, why should you respect his? If he objects to you revealing his Blind Vice, then he is more than just a douchebag...he's a hypocrite.
Dear Eye for an Eye:
John Mayer may be a blabber mouth, but why should I sink down to his level?
Since the Jackles weddings appear to be a done deal, how would you rate the survival odds for each marriage? And if Jensen and Jared were to marry each other, would that marriage have a better chance of lasting than the ones to Danneel and Genevieve?
Dear Rating Game:
In my head, Jensen and Jared marrying would make one hell of a happy—and hot—groom and groom. On a scale of 1-10, I'd dream their honeymoon alone would be a 15. Not too late to do it, boys!
I know you've said before that the Jonas Brothers aren't quite as squeaky clean as Disney would lead you to believe, which is hardly surprising. But have any of them ever actually been a Blind Vice?
Dear Brotherly Vice:
Sure, at least one has been a B.V. But have more than one?
You've opened a can of worms with your latest Jackles article! It must be frustrating. But I'm still on board and have a question: Do you think we'll hear more about Jackles soon? You can't be the only one in Gossip Town who's fallen under the charm of this duo, right? Hugs (you'll need it after the vitriol sprayed at you in the comments).
If you're worried about J.A. or J.P. leaving the spotlight anytime soon, you can breathe easy. With two weddings fast approaching, we're totally going to be hearing more about these studs.
I'm wondering if maybe Jason Dohring or Alex O'Loughlin could be Nelly Fang? I don't remember either of their names being mentioned before in any of your Bitch-Backs. I wonder why? Especially O'Loughlin, who is pretty well known for playing a vampire.
Dear Not Quite Nelly:
Both dudes have played vamps before, but would you say either is the biggest or the hunkiest bloodsucker around? I definitely wouldn't.
All this Jensen and Jared talk has me worried for your safety, man! The Super-hards (you like?) are even more obsessed than the Twi-hards. Put your pooches on high alert. Now on to my completely unrelated question: Were either JJO or DDD born outside of the United States?
Dear Customs Agent:
Too big a clue, babe, good question, though.
Holy crap, Ted! I'm just reading the comments to your Who's Marrying First: Jensen or Jared? post and I'm blown away at all these hateful comments. I'm a huge Supernatural fan and love the boys dearly but OMG, some of these fans just hate you. Well, I just wanted to let you know this fan loves you and your column and sending you lots of positive energy. These people need to ease up—it's a gossip column, for goodness sake!
Dear Super Super-Fan:
If you think that's bad, you should check out Robsten backlash. Yikes!