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If, for some reason, you haven't been glued to Fox's new reality gang-dating travesty Seducing Cindy, we'll get you up to speed.

The Cindy in question is aging pinup Cindy Margolis. According to the show's web page, she is not only an "American icon" but an "Internet icon." Despite such status, she can't find her "ultimate soul mate." So she's looking on Fox.

And while that may be difficult, seducing her is apparently a piece of cake.

Particularly if you look like an insane pirate with appaling facial hair and have a knack for tempering your seduction game with a touch of brute force. 

Smooth.