Bitch-Back! Who Is Nelly Fang, Already?

Readers ponder of Nelly and Robsten’s fate

Dear Ted:
After reading back over the whole Nelly Fang Blind Vice and some of the clues given...I think I've got it figured out! I doubt you can confirm it, but can you tell me if I'm close? Is it Cam Gigandet?
—Ames

Dear Straight Talk:
You cut right to the chase, don't you? Sure, you're close. He is a vampire, after all. But ain't Cam, delicious as that bloodthirsty thought might be!

Dear Ted:
I read your latest post on Robsten. So they broke up? Many people are saying this, and, of course, the haters are singing in our faces: "I told you, they're just a PR stunt." Well, Ted, I thought you said before that they were the real thing, but it seems you lied to us. So...we the fans of Robsten need to move on, because they are over. Thanks Ted.
—Kate

Dear Hold On:
If a couple goes through tough periods I would say that's real. Anyone who pretends to have the picture-perfect relationship is hiding a helluva lot of stuff. Brangelina, anyone? Robsten is not over. Far from it.

Dear Ted:
How does Danneel Harris feel about Jensen Ackles' friendship with Jared Padalecki?
—Supernatural fan

Dear Threesome:
Well, nobody wants to date someone with no friends.

Dear Ted:
First I have to say thank you for a great blolumn...you are the best! I am one of those who think Brad Pitt was a total prat for leaving Jen Aniston, and while I take no pleasure in others' misery, I think he has it coming to him. Not that I would ever hope they will get back together, but do you think he has ever felt a twinge of regret, shame or guilt for the way he and his current "love" treated Jen? I know Angelina Jolie is above that, but somehow Brad always seemed more "human" to me. Or does fame mean never having to say you're sorry?
—Just Curious

Dear Human:
Brad may look more human than ice-cold Angie, but I don't think that either of them will ever show any remorse. Or have any, really. Brad and Jen were unfortunately way over before Jolie came along in her pleather.

Dear Ted:
We all know Miranda "I'm allergic to clothes" Kerr is all wrong for Orlando Bloom. Are they over yet? Who do you think would be better? What about his good friend from Pirates, Naomi Harris, or Jennifer Aniston? Who would your choice be?
—Matchmaker

Dear Hopeful:
Yeah, not feeling that couple, either. Jennifer Aniston isn't a bad suggestion. Bloom is kinda her type.

Dear Ted:
Ted, right now I don't like you too much. Why? Because of your latest Rob and Kristen "taking a break" article. I get it, but you know people don't read carefully and they cannot comprehend what you write, so guess what: There will be all kinds of mean-spirited, hateful and insane creeps out there in the comments section. There is only so much that the Robsten lovers can do. It just sucks the life out of us. Hope you are happy. Are you? I'll get over it. Well, maybe.
—Bitter

­Dear Reality Hurts:
Darling, if I let our treacherous comment section keep me from reporting Robsten goss, then you'd never have a drop! There will always be haters, even if I was reporting everything was just friggin' dandy.

Dear Ted:
I know that you're a super fan of K.Stew, so I'll keep it respectful. Someone needs to sit down with that girl and give her some lessons on how to speak/handle interviews. I think she's moving along in her films, but the Valley Girl interviews have got to go. Time to step it up a notch, Kristen, and show us your intellect and elegance!
—Santa Fe

Dear Professional:
Yes, Kristen is not the most poised subject to interview. But isn't that what adds to her charm and overall package? At least she is different.

Dear Ted:
Is it me or are the fashions getting skankier and skankier? I was just looking at some pics of recent red carpet events and ew! These women who wear these dresses that show their cleavage and so short that you can practically see their short hairs is gross! I have to say that Taylor Swift and Anna Kendrick are class acts! Every time I see them they emit a sense of class, and their ability to correspond is amazing for their age.
—Classy

Dear Fashion Police:
Class acts, indeed, but they both could use a trip to In-N-Out Burger, if you ask me!

Dear Ted:
As a more "seasoned" Robsten fan, I think the fact that Rob and Kristen focus on their careers makes a lot of sense. It's what happens in adult relationships. I have a friend whose husband is in Iraq for a year—now that's an example of a difficult separation. That said, the only thing I'm not looking forward to is all the tabloid fodder from every time Rob or Kristen go out away from each other. Those stories will get annoying real quick.
—Know it All

Dear Dr. Twilight:
Get annoying real quick?

Dear Ted:
Has Wentworth Miller ever been the subject of a Blind Vice?
—Lulu

Dear Question:
Abso-effin'-lutely.

Dear Ted:
You're right about Kristen Stewart and her acting. I loved her in the Cake Eaters (she made me cry), Panic Room, The Messenger, Adventureland and many others. I can't wait for The Runaways and Welcome to the Rileys. You could tell in New Moon for both Kristen and Rob that the script just didn't have it. You can't blame that on her or his acting skills if they have nothing to work from. Why can't Summit see this? What I used to look forward to is scaring me, and I just wish it was finished so they all can move on. Once they took the love story away from the movie they ruined it for a lot of the readers. I'm just waiting for the pain to end.
—Kiki

Dear Kristen Fan:
That's why it is exciting that they both have separate, new films coming out soon.

Dear Ted:
Are Ricky Martin and his two boys Toothy's partner Grey Goose and their Baby Tile?
—Ted Fan

Dear Journalist:
No, Toothy is far more secretive at pulling stunts than Ricky! 

Dear Ted:
With Valentine's Day approaching, could you tell us which is your favorite Blind Vice couple?
—Marina

Dear Lover:
As if there's any question: the not still-not-entirely doomed Toothy Tile and Grey Goose.

Dear Ted:
Did Jamie Foxx have a "Blind Vice party" that Page Six called a "pre-Grammy awards bash"? Love your column!
—Foxxy

Dear Blame It:
Clever one you are.

Dear Ted:
I know you say most actors are gay. What about the musicians; is it the same? I mean, I pick up a heavy gay vibe in the hip-hop community. Not to mention the guys that dance. I don't know, maybe I'm crazy, but I do think so.
—Hip Hopper

Dear Vibes:
Well, it depends on what type of music genre you have in mind. That certainly changes how I'd answer this question. There are a lot of John Mayer types out there, though.

Dear Ted:
What was going on with Josh Duhamel at the Grammys? He looked so annoyed when Ryan Seacrest called him over on the red carpet, and then he has the biggest sourpuss in the audience as Fergie was dancing away to Jamie Foxx. He stood behind her looking annoyed. He just looked angry and there was no lovey-dovey stuff going on. Am I off base?
—Attitude

Dear Fergalicious:
It was Fergie's night to shine, not Josh's. Maybe he just wanted to take a backseat and let his girl do her thing. Or not.