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Utter confusion and rabid, scandalous entertainment collide within the animalistic confines of your Condensed Soup as Today's Kathie Lee Gifford segues from the revelation that a chimp once had a "big thing" for her to a sizzling, lez-is-more MILFy moment with Molly Sims.  

OK.

Now that you've had a moment to towel off, gird your ears for Paris Hilton's stupendously Caucasian take on rap for Snoop Dogg himself. Even more shocking nuggets await you on zesty new Soup this Friday night at 10 p.m. ET/PT, followed by the much-anticipated Soup Awards 2009. 

And as always, to tide you over until then, nosh on some tasty snacks in the Soup blog video gallery.