The Awful Truth

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Thank heavens somebody’s listening. The supposedly still venerable New York Times finally echoed what we’ve been bitching about for eons: Angelina Jolie knows her way around press manipulation about as well as she does married men.  We said it. Now the Times is saying it: Jolie is the woman aspiring Hollywood publicists should be studying with everything they’ve got.

Oh, and Angie’s reaction to the NYT calling her out like this? “She pretends to be irked,” relayed a Brangelina mutual friend, “but secretly, I know she loves it.” As do we, of course, as do we.

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Back over at the GQ Men of the Year to-do at Chateau, forgot to tell you all that Zac Efron was totally digging the fact that everybody was digging him so much. Dude loves the new intense fame thang, big-time. But damn if he didn’t chuckle, rather contemptuously, when somebody asked if he was looking forward to getting his party on with professional club boy Leonardo DiCaprio (who was also at the bash, as well as every hot hang you can find these days). Is that because Leo’s in danger of becoming the male Paris, only with a tad more ability in the acting department? Your guess is as good as ours.

Super-funny bitch Kathy Griffin also hit up the shindig. You know she just couldn’t resist being in a room full of eligible dressed-up men. “I’m a Hillary fan,” 'fessed Kath when asked who her vote was for Gal of the Year. “I think she’s coming back strong. And she could also be Man of the Year. That’s what’s great about her—she’s flexible.”

Don’t be so sure, Kath. It’s not lookin’ so hot in the Hillary political arena right now. And trust us, it kills us to remind you.

—With additional reporting by Taryn Ryder

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“I’m very relieved.”

—Nikki Reed, when we asked how it felt now that the vampire flick’s tween-commandeered premiere is over. You’ll be singing another Twilight tune and begging for more when everyone’s focus stays on Pattinson and no one else. You, too, Ashley Tisdale

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Aaron Eckhart, what a babe, huh? Well, The Dark Knight’s White Knight is just that in real life, so it seems. We asked the chiseled actor what it was like working with gossip girl Jennifer Aniston in their new movie, Traveling, which A.E. himself calls “a total chick flick.” Like Aniston would act (or get cast) in anything else, duh.

Says Eck-hon: “It was wonderful; she was awesome to work with. Good friend, sweet girl, total pro. She has just a heart of gold, and I totally enjoyed the experience.”

Wow, could Jenny pay for a better publicist? Why doesn’t she ever date a gent like Aaron, as opposed to a slimeball like John Mayer? Then again, affirmations like “good friend” and “sweet girl” don’t really inspire any groin-clenching crushing, do they? And we know that’s the only kinda reax J.A.’s interested in these days, both from audiences and potential bedmates. It’s all very Angie! Angie! Angie! (still). Whatever. Guess Aniston just isn’t A.E.’s type, while guys like J.M. are more than willing to date a mournful soul, but with fab hair, like Jen—you can do whatever ya like, and they’ll keep comin’ back for more.

—Additional reporting by Taryn Ryder and Becky Bain

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Dear Ted:
Is it me or does this Robert Pattinson guy look like he is stoned on the good green or what? His eyes always look like they could close at any minute, and they are quite bloodshot. I may get accosted by an angry mob for saying this, seeing as how crazy the ladies are going for this cat, but he looks like a good old-fashioned pothead to me. Not that there is anything wrong with that!
—dgarber1115

Dear Toke Bloke:
Wouldn’t be a far reach, considering how he likes to prepare for auditions.

Dear Ted:
So now that Hef is not with Bridget, Kendra or Holly, why are they in the news so much? The fact that both Kendra and Holly moved on so quickly, especially Holly, who claimed that Hef was her "soul mate," just shows how fake the whole thing was. I never believed she was honestly attracted to him, let alone in love with him, and now she's going to get attention for Criss Angel? Seriously? Was she just sticking around Hef till she had enough of her own money and didn't need him anymore? I think I already know the answer to that, but please enlighten me!
—Amy, Calif.

Dear Pondering Playmates:
Not like Hef minded being used. Get real. 

Dear Ted:
Do you have any information on Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo?
—tpukalo

Dear Napping With Nick:
Yes, info on them beats sleeping pills. 

Dear Ted:
Enough already about Prop 8. If I have to read one more story with you asking a celeb what they think about Prop 8 (like do you really think they're going to disagree with you?) I'm going to puke. I can see why you feel very strongly about this subject but most people come here to read something light and fluffy. Is E! paying you to blog about your political convictions or about celeb gossip?
—kappylie

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Not if, but where. Do we have a showdown in the works over at Hef’s mansion?

Apparently so. Remember, Hank Baskett, Kendra Wilkinson’s fiancé, derailed Kendra and Hef’s big Girls Next Door offshoot by making a surprise proposal, which we broke. Originally, Kendra was supposed to go off, free and fierce, from the Holmby Hills Playboy Mansion, like some sort of wide-eyed sexy graduate, ready to take on swinging L.A.

“It was supposed to be Kendra being even more...Kendra,” said a source involved in the TV workings. But apparently, all is not lost, as I’m hearing Kendra’s post-Mansion TV plans are still heavily in the works, albeit slightly more domesticated. Which leaves only one prob left...

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Been awhile since we heard from Fake-à-la Ferocity, I know. The babe who has used prescribed synthetic goodies to help her get off a nasty drug habit is two-timing her man, didn’t you know?

No, not that hunk she’s got at home stashed in the fully toy-equipped bedroom, but her doctor, I mean. Turns out F.F. knows how to work her fierce femme charm on the good docs (a very old story in this town, right? Just ask Liz Taylor’s 263,000 docs if you don’t believe me). So you know the last Vice tale: Ms. Ferocity needed to get off her substantial habit so she could not only save her home life and marriage but make a movie, too. Thought nobody would notice that she went right back to using not that long ago.

Yeah, right, exactly. So gotta get clean again! Yep, she’s back on the synthetic stuff, and not just with one doc but two. Two pro docs who don’t know about the other, by the by. Guess Ms. F. really likes to feel good when she’s feelin’ bad comin’ down from the hard stuff? I swear, it’s not the docs and the man at home, nor F.F.’s family, that’s gonna find out first how much crap she’s shooting into her bod, it’s gonna be the public, when she keels over dead one day. Jeez already, get help, woman!

And It Ain’t: Felicity Huffman, Kate Bosworth, Ashley Olsen

Wicked A New Muscial

Kristin Chenoweth was divine as the good witch, remember, in the cloak-and-broomstick musical, Wicked? And now that K.C.’s witnessing some real-life evil witches out there, i.e., the Mormon Church, it appears one of her saviors will be Wicked author Stephen Schwartz.

But let’s back up first: There was a musical director by the name Scott Eckern, director of the California Musical Theater in Sacramento. He donated a grand to help fund the anti-gay marriage act, Prop 8, a pretty stunning fact, considering Eckern was not only directing tons of gay folks every day, he was using the materials authored by countless gay men and women to help himself and his organization profit financially. Schwartz, one of the most successful musical pros in the business, helped put pressure on Eckern (who recently resigned), as CMT was busy with many things. 

And now, Schwartz has been alerted to the highly ironic and unfortunate fact that the Young Ambassadors, Brigham Young University’s traveling entertainment company (which helps spread the word of Mormonism, only with song and dance), is using his works as well. Schwartz, thank the benevolent heavens above, is soon to be on BYU’s case, I hear. It’s truly stunning that folks who voted yes on Prop 8 still want to have their cake and eat us too. What idiots.

Are Nicole Kidman and her Aussie amour Keith Urban lying about their “fairy-tale” romance? Are Tori Spelling and mama Candy collaborating on something other than a fight? And is Katie Holmes missing her ex? This, and why Daniel Craig’s latest move has got me hot and bothered, and not in a naughty way, in Truth, Lies & Ted!

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Has Madonna been lurking inside gal pal Gwyneth Paltrow’s closet? Gwynnie started this whole parade of questionable footwear with her PR press tour of Iron Man, and now Madge is following in her stiletto-steps. That’s one way to stay connected, now that the best buds will be an ocean apart.

First were those handgun heels at her Filth and Wisdom screening, and now it’s this pair of ghastly greenies. Leaving a Unicef fete in New York, M was obviously on her way to Oz, and we hope she asks the wizard for a new pair of footwear.

 “Going green” is way trendy in H'town, so please do recycle those things when ya throw ‘em out, Maddy, which we so implore you to do, promptly. Although they’re probably pretty comfy while walking all over Guy.

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How does Meryl Streep do it? To get through the absolutely horrific subject matter in surefire Oscar-nabber Doubt, director John Patrick Shanley told us at the movie’s premiere, “Meryl and I would sing ABBA songs on-set” to relieve tension. Guess something good came outta that airheaded anomaly Mamma Mia!—some Swedish singing therapy amidst priest-molestation intrigue. Is this what makes M.S. such a genius? She borrows from her preceding flicks while filming her current one? Did Streep’s Prairie Home Companion crooner come out while she played a stiletto-stamping Anna Wintour clone in The Devil Wears Prada?

And Doubt proved once again that bubbly redhead Amy Adams is more than an Enchanted princess—gal was fab as a naive nun, though Double-A herself was down ‘n’ almost out at the premiere with a cold. Is this H'wood lifestyle gettin’ ya down, Ames? Ever want to “pull a Joaquin” and retire? A2 giggled between coughs. “Not quite yet, no!” Yeah, neither is Joaquin. Mark our bitchy words.

—Additional reporting by Becky Bain

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“That’s debatable in Hollywood. There’s the obvious answer: Angelina, for saving the planet with her adoptions and charity work.”

—Megan Fox, when we asked who the Woman of the Year was. Funny, 'cause Kim Kardashian said woman of the year is you, Meg: “I mean, Angelina Jolie is predictable, but I think Megan Fox has been amazing,” K2 told us. “I feel like she came out of nowhere, and she’s gorgeous, and she’s staying there. God, they’re beautiful!” Are we witnessing a ScarJo-Katy Perry moment here?